The man hustled for the bathroom. He had to get to that bathroom is less than one minute. But he did not have diarrhea, a bubbling bladder, or other disgusting bathroom needs.
The man flung the door open. When it was shut, he glanced at the door. A combination lock, a key lock, a deadbolt, and a fingerprint scanner lock were on the door. He locked them all.
The Starman took of his human costume and entered the stall. A toilet sat there waiting for him.
“Giygas, I hate you, *whirr* so much, you and your *click* sick sense of humor.” The toilet was overflown with some pesky human’s business. The Starman reluctantly stood in the toilet and flushed. And down he went. The Starman swirled down into the pipes of the toilet. As everyone knows, there are three traits that Starmen have. They run on Windows Vista, they are afraid of Fobbies, and they are very flexible. So the Starman slid down the pipes easily, but he was very disgusted.
The pipe split into two paths. One was labeled “Excrement”. The other was labeled “Giygas’ Secret Lair- No Turds Allowed.” The Starman went towards the “Giygas’ Secret Lair” path. A large gate, however, blocked the path.
“Facial recognition software starting up.”
“Oh, crap!” the Starman shouted. His face was covered in sewage. He raced like mad to wipe it off. But it was too late! The camera snapped a picture.
“Turd recognized. Expelling in three seconds.”
“NO! WAIT! *WHIRR* IT’S ME!”
The Starman was catapulted down the “Excrement Pipe”.

The Starman woke up hours later. A humongous rat was sniffing at him.
“So, what are you in for?”
“Well, it all started when I was delivering duct tape to Master Giygas… he was going to block off the entrance to the Cave of the Past with it…
In summary, if it hadn’t been for Giygas’ poor choice in lair entrances, he would have won the war against Ness.
The moral of this story is not to side with evil, or you're crap.