News:

Theories topic for the week of January 10 - January 18, 2012:

The Mr. Saturns are an interesting people, and are present in both Mother 2 and Mother 3. How are the two apparently different tribes of these unique creatures related though? I asked, and you delivered. Below is the winner, as well as a few other great submissions


Theory of the Week:

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X's distant cousin tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This weeks question, how are the Mr. Saturns related? Well, when a Mr. Saturn and A Mrs. Saturn, love each other very much (HEY! Who let you on my theory entry!) Oh come on cuz! I already have the puppets out! (GET OUT OF HERE, THIS IS MY THING!) Fine fine, just put the bat down, yeesh!.

Ugh, hate it when he does that, so NOW, let's get the intro right.

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This weeks question, how are the Mr. Saturns related? Well, I actually have a Mr. Saturn roommate tell me about his heritage.

It all started in the year 198V, when the first family of Saturns fell to earth in a ship shaped like them from the planet Pluto (AND YES IT IS STILL A PLANET!). After that a few other ships came down, and landed in the canyon they turned into their village. They were originally sent down to dominate the planet with their utter cute and coolness in the name of the planet everyone ignore, just to get some dang attention!

Unfortuantly, the plan kinda failed in 199X after Pluto was blown up in a terrible telescope accident, and just to show that the Saturns weren't...homeless and useless, they made a cardboard cut-out of whatever supplies survived the tele-detenation. Surprisingly enough...we were fooled. It's still believed that if you believe in Pluto, you can hear the stranded, homeless saturns on a clear night, and they are saying, "ZoOm...CrAp, Of AlL tHiNgS, tHe CoFfEe PoWeReD TeLlY hAd To BoOm. So NoT K-aYo."

Anyway, back on Earth, the saturns we're waiting for orders of absolute attack...unaware they'd never recieve it, so they just kept up with the innocent good guy appearance. After a while, thier appearance, became a true thing, with fresh Peanut-butter cheese bars cooling on the windowsil, and bands playing thier horns of life to the sunrise. Finding out that...there was actually an evil worse than their old plan in motion, and they were to help some children to stop it. At first, they were just going to pass the kids by...then they found out that they had mind abilities and no way were they going to take that risk. When I was eavesdropping one day, I heard two of the saturns conversing with each other, one being the doctor.

"So DoC, aNy SiGnAlS yEt?"

"FoRgEt ThE sIgNaL, gEt Me OuT oF tHiS cAn, I'vE bEeN tRaPpEd HeRe FoR 12 yEaRs!"

"YeAh, I kNoW wHaT YoU mEaN."

"No YoU dOn'T! gEt Me OuT oF hErE!" I stopped after that, on the brink of an outburst of laughter. Little did I know, that doc, would be a vital role to the saturn race.

Now comes the connection to Mother 3. When Pokey was planning his Nowhere take over, he chased the saturns out of their home, in hopes of finding something useful. With all the chasing and rattling, the lid that was a ceiling decoration in the doctor's office, closed over him.

"OH DEAR, OH MY! I CERTAINLY PICKED A BAD DAY TO VISIT THE SATURNS!" Yelled a panicked Andonuts. "Where to hide, where to hi-ah HA!" Andonuts spotted the "supposed" empty can, hoping to be safe. "grff orff mrff!" Shouted the now awake saturn doctor...unheard. As we know from Mother 3, Andonuts was found, and he was just taken in the trash can...he got himself stuck in.

No one knows where the saturns ran off to, but when the trash can holding Andonuts was flying over to the lab, the bottom popped off, and the Doctor Saturn was finally free.

"UgH. WaIt...I'm FrEe!, AnD mY cOmMuNiCaTiOn BaCkUp SuRvIvEd As WeLl!" That bottom part of the trashcan...let's just say you'd be amazed about saturn technology. Not only did he use it to try and hold back garbage, it was also a flying disk. Yet he knew it'd be too dangerous to fly exposed. Luckily that doctor dropped an old red hankerchief, that the saturn considered a good enough disguise.

Now, we all know the saturns were found in another canyon like area in M3, but what brought them together? That communication back-up he mentioned, well, have you ever questioned the saturns bow? Since the doc was standing on a piece of technology, he was able to use the techno waves to use through his bow, which brought a huge wave through the world. The hiding saturns that ran away from Pokey's barrage, noticed their hairs standing straight up, and their bows glowing a bright red.

"BoInG, sOmEoNe CaLl!"

"QuIcK! HoW fLyInG mAcHiNe CoMiNg?!"

"We OnLy NeEd 3 MoRe BiRdS!"

"As SoOn As We GeT tHeM bIrDs, FiNd ThE sIgNaL MaKeR."

"KaY-o"

Once the birds were caught, the saturns guided themselves to the canyon the disguised saturn was in.

"GaH! iT's A tRaP!" Yelled one of the arriving saturns, slamming a garbage can over the disguised saturn.

"NoOoOoOo! NoT aGaIn!" And so, they started to rebuild home...hoping they wouldn't be needing the doctor soon.

And thus, another question is left to crackle like fireworks in a box. So, this is Pheen-X saying...Pluto exists...sort of!

- firej7


In which Mr. Saturns are part of the evacuation:

The Mr. Saturns lived on a long time after the life of Ness and his friends. They watched the decline and destruction of Onett and the surrounding towns. They watched the end of the human race as we know it.

Long after these tragedies, the food started running out. The piggy jelly vanished and the magical coffee was gone. The Mr. Saturns started sending out squadrons to search for food in the ruins of the towns for any food. But more than anything, the Mr. Saturns were sad and scared.

After a long time of struggling to live, a mysterious flying object arrived. It resembled the shape of a cruise ship (a luxury long forgotten) and flew through the air on an unknown sort of propeller. They landed right next to the long-since dried out hot spring. An unusually tall man came out of the ship and asked them to board the ship. The Mr. Saturns promptly agreed.

There were many sorts of people on the ship. There were elders and youth, hillbillies and hobos, even a cowboy. The most noticeable feature was the egg-shaped trophy with wings.

3 hours passed when the ship finally came towards an island, which was full of life and beauty. The ship landed and everyone exited. The tall man carried the egg with him. A small village had already been built.

Three hours later no one had remembered anything that had happened before, and the egg was gone. The Mr. Saturns were relocated to an area very similar to the first Saturn Valley. They were very satisfied.

- Ostricho


THEY RIPPED HIM A NEW SPACE HOLE:

Dr. Andonuts was temporarily living in the peaceful Saturn Valley. The Mr. Saturns there were so helpful to him that he decided to stay for a while.

When Porky kidnapped him to go to the future in the Nowhere Islands with him, he used so much energy that the Mr. Saturns came along, too, but Porky didn't notice. The Mr. Saturns began to rebuild their civilization in the Nowhere Islands secretly after simply walking away behind Porky's back, and they built an almost identical Saturn Valley in hopes of their dear professor or some heroes coming along again.

- Absoltastic


Junk:

Activities:

EarthBound Fanfest 2010
MOTHER 2 Novel Translation Project!
EarthBound Central -- Good News for the Modern Fan
Fangamer Banner
MOTHER 3 Fan Translation
Starmen.Net EarthBound Walkthrough
Starmen.Net Mother 3 Walkthrough
Donate to Starmen.Net!

Site Info:

Wanna know more about the staffers? The Site History? The Forum Badge Guide? All the info is here!

Polls:

How do you use Starmen.net?
Last Week's Poll
Which of the Super Smash Bros. Newcomers is your favourite?
Image of Last Week's Poll

Radio PSI:

Bringing the EarthBound community together through the magic of music.