Theories topic for the week of June 27 - July 11, 2012:

What is the story of the Slot Brothers in Dusty Dunes Desert?

Theory of the Week:

It happened many years ago, back when the Sanchez Brothers were young and golden; the proud owners of their very own casino, specializing in the long-time favorite: slot machines. Your parents might remember these days-- that is, if they grew up in Onett. These days were a simpler time, when schoolchildren enjoyed the innocent fun of dropping a quarter in a machine, hoping to win themselves a can of fruit juice, or maybe even a Skip Sandwich. Perhaps it was the captivating simplicity of it all that attracted such large crowds to the Sanchez Brothers casino…

But one day, everything changed. New technology was beginning to engulf Eagleland into a new era, an era in which slot machines were becoming an outdated form of amusement, and consumers craved something more… interactive. Pancho and Pincho Sanchez just couldn’t compete; business plummeted, sales dropped, and soon the two young men were evicted from their building, in favor of what would become a much more successful video game arcade. Nearly all of their slot machines, once beloved by the public, were uprooted, incinerated, and buried in the Dusty Dunes Desert. The humble Sanchez Brothers had been utterly crushed by the new market in entertainment, leaving them homeless, poverty-stricken, and demoralized. They had spent the last of their money to buy back just one single slot machine, in a fruitless effort to keep their dream alive. But alas, it was broken, and so were the hearts of the unfortunate Sanchez Brothers.

Pancho and Pincho Sanchez spent many years as drifters, dragging around their last memento of the past. Along the way, they met Tomas Jefferson, who would later become a loyal friend to them, even to the point where some would incorrectly refer to him as the third Sanchez brother. It was, however, Mr. Jefferson who came up with the ingenious idea of making a “human slot machine.” With the aid of a few cardboard boxes and colored pencils, the three amigos had created a subtle revival of the old Eaglelandian pastime. The Sanchez Brothers hoped to reconstruct their business little-by-little and eventually buy back their old casino in Onett. It seemed as if a twinkle of light was finally shining in the dim world of Pancho and Pincho Sanchez…

…Unfortunately, they had only made a profit of about eleven dollars before being abducted by Porky and never seen nor heard from ever again.


- AmateurGamer


The desert was hotter than a baked Mach Pizza. The desert coyotes howled like a church choir; ironically, it was Sunday. Not a very blessed one, however.
Three brothers roamed the wastleland, with a fresh sandstorm blowing in their eyes. They were on the way to a sunstroke. One almost stepped on a desert lizard, who screeched at him and ran.
“Keep it up, Pincho and Pancho,” said their brother, Tomas Jefferson. “Sooner or later, we’ll reach Eagleland, and we’ll make it to the big city!”
It had been their lifelong dream to become wealthy and prosperous. But it was not possible in their home country.
Things were going bad in their country. The government was going insane. Tomas remembered it all clearly. He was only four when it happened.
It was dinner time, and Tomas and his brothers were eating dinner with their mother. Their father had died shortly after their birth from heat exhaustion outdoors while farming.
The government men busted down the scrappy door with a quick blow, and approached the mother.
“Carmelita del Pajarito!” they shouted. “You have made a loan from the government. It has been ten years, and you have not paid!”
They slapped handcuffs on her and took her away. “¡Mamá!” shouted Pancho, and had grabbed the one of the government worker’s pants. He was knocked away with a punch. She was thrown in a ratty truck and was taken away. She was never seen again.
Tomas was determined she was still alive. And he and his brothers would produce the money to pay for the loan.
They reached a highway. It seemed clear of vehicles. Pincho crossed the road, and Pancho followed. When Tomas began to cross the road, Pincho shouted, “Look out, hermano!”
A large truck flew down the highway, and Tomas barely made it to the other side. Suddenly, waves of vehicles flew down the highway. Suddenly, a car swerved and hit a funny-looking rock, and busted down in the middle of the road. In a matter of seconds, the large highway was shut down completely.
Tomas went to investigate the funny rock. It was a roulette machine.
“Oh, fuzzy pickles!” said the man who emerged from the crash. He had a strange black hat and round glasses. “I busted down the only form of entertainment here!”
Tomas felt this was his responsibility. He pulled out the cardboard signs he was planning to make hitchhiking signs with, and folded them into cubes. He wrote symbols on them, and put one on himself and each of his siblings.
“We’ll be your casino!”
The funny man ended up paying $227 at the machine. When he finally won, he said, “What’s my prize?” He ended up walking away with a cold enchilada.
“Well, I don’t feel like waiting on this car to get fixed,” and he flew up into the air, and vanished.
A large line of people had lined up, ready to bet the Slot Brothers while they waiting for the highway jam to clear out.
Tomas laughed. “It’s the Eaglelandian dream!”

There were still highway jams every once and a while, but the Slot Brothers were not happy. “But what about the dreams of the big city?” said Pancho. “And what about mamá?”
Suddenly, a large mechanical device materialized in front of them. A fat boy stepped out.
“Spankety, spankety, spankety! I hear you dream of the big city! Ahahahaha! Why don’t you come with me? I’ll take you there!”
“Yes, gracias!” exclaimed the trio and hopped into the odd machine.
The fat boy’s name was Porky, and he took them to a wonderland called New Pork City, where they became richer than ever before. Tomas, however, began to evaluate his brothers’ and his own life.
“Oh, no! We got so caught up in our lust for money, that we forgot about mama!”
They went to King Porky and begged to be taken back. “Please, Master Porky! Let us go home to save our mother!”
“You decided to come here, so now you can stay! Ahahahahaha!”
And so ends the sad tale of the Slot Brothers.

- Ostricho



EarthBound Fanfest 2010
MOTHER 2 Novel Translation Project!
EarthBound Central -- Good News for the Modern Fan
Fangamer Banner
MOTHER 3 Fan Translation
Starmen.Net EarthBound Walkthrough
Starmen.Net Mother 3 Walkthrough
Donate to Starmen.Net!

Site Info:

Wanna know more about the staffers? The Site History? The Forum Badge Guide? All the info is here!


How do you use
Last Week's Poll
Which of the Super Smash Bros. Newcomers is your favourite?
Image of Last Week's Poll

Radio PSI:

Bringing the EarthBound community together through the magic of music.
Privacy Policy