The Best of IRC
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Volume #1
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Here's a little narrative of our first meeting with a semi-regular, MerCuTio^
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*** MerCuTio^ has joined #Earthbound
<Everdred> hi
<PrincePoo> Hey!
* reidman bites his thumb at Mercutio
<reidman> heheh
*** BlackSpy has joined #Earthbound
<BlackSpy> Hewwo
<reidman> shakespeare fan or is that just a coincidence?
<MoonSider> Party!
<BlackSpy> Mercutio? Where is Benvolio?
<Everdred> Doust thou bite thy thumb at me?
*** EBounding is now known as Tybalt
*** BlackSpy is now known as Paris
<reidman> *if I say 'yea', is the law on our side?'
<MerCuTio^> Blackspy... My Real Name is MerCuTio, So Plez.. Easy on the jokes.
<reidman> 'no'
<PrincePoo> I don't get any of this
<reidman> Nay, not at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb
*** Tybalt is now known as Benvolio
<Ultimoo> It's Romeo and Juliet
<Benvolio> I pray to thee mercutio, let us retire. The day is hot, the Capulets abroad. For if
we wait, we shall not scape a brwal
<Benvolio> Um, I forgot the rest of the lines
<Loco-san> your real name has the caps in it?
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Pokemon mix-up (this evolved into a rather funny inside joke)
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<Ultimoo> he'd be like metal mario where he moves around a little
<reidman> no, he'd be that lazy pokemon that doesn't move
<reidman> hehehe
<reidman> i forgot the name
<Ultimoo> yeah snorlax, haha
<reidman> snoozledorfenkofferx or something
* Ultimoo really wants Episode 1 tickets
<reidman> yeah, snorlax...i was close
<Ultimoo> mwahahahaha
<reidman> heheheh
*** Ultimoo changes topic to 'Snoozledorfenkofferx_'
* Ultimoo fears Snoozledorfenkofferx
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Cows. The infinitesimally hilarious mammal.
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<EBounding> Yo yo yo yo
<YoyoGrrl> HOLY ARABIAN COW!
<MoonSider> Hey yo yo
<EBounding> Heh, you didn't have to
<PrincePoo> Yo yo YoYo
<reidman> SACRED COWS?
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We've calculated this to be about the exact time Htoriphes exited the realm of sanity...Loco
laughed as he left.
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* Htoriphes is peeling off his skin because he had a Sunburn
<Htoriphes> Soon, It will extend to my toes and i'll keep it all in a jar
<Loco-san> ok weirdo
<Htoriphes> no i'm not
<Htoriphes> Even if i carry a peice of cheese in my ear, im not a weirdo
<Loco-san> heh
*** Plo- has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Plo-[98AD8A34.ipt.aol.com]_)
<Loco-san> that's not cheese though
<Loco-san> you just need some q-tips
<Htoriphes> I AM MADE OF CHEESE
<Htoriphes> CCCCHHHHEEEESSSSEEEE!!!!
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Coke's latest bad advertising: Gas.
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<Everdred> When I get my license I'm gonna be drinkin gas too
<EBounding> Mmmm GAS
* PrincePoo drives a car and runs into Everdred
* YoyoGrrl doesn't suggest injesting gasoline
* Everdred explodes
<reidman> gas....tastes like sprite with a small amount of crude petroleum fuel
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The Red Stuff
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<Loco-san> it's just ketchup
<reidman> the first one is too violent (despite the fact that its one of the funniest things
i've ever seen)
<Loco-san> other people will think it's funny
<DSManiac> only 99 bottles of soda
<Tomator> no not ketchup!
<The_Blob> lol
<reidman> ROFL
<Tomator> it's Hawaiian Punch
* reidman realizes that he has a bottle of ketchup in his hand and hides it behind his back
before tomato sees
it
<Tomator> (there aren't any Hawaiians here, right?)
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Auto-Kick: The Series
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<EBounding> You shouldn't make rash assumptions like that.
*** EBounding was kicked by reidman (Auto Kick - No Sw_E_aring - Auto_EB_)
<reidman> BWAHAHAHA!
*** Tdo was kicked by reidman (this is just a kick for being annoying_)
*** Tdo has joined #earthbound
<Tdo> YOU SAID YOU WERN'T!
<reidman> hehehe
<Tdo> hehe
<reidman> i never said i wouldn't kick people for being ANNOYING
<EBounding> associate
*** EBounding was kicked by reidAWAY (Auto Kick - No Sw_E_aring - Auto_EB_)
*** EBounding has joined #earthbound
<EBounding> I need some ASSISTANCE!
*** EBounding was kicked by reidAWAY (Auto Kick - No Sw_E_aring - Auto_EB_)
*** EBounding has joined #earthbound
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PokeBound rants and raves.
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<PokeBound> <geocities> Well we would like to make websites easier to make, but we like
annoying you.
<PokeBound> <Aol> We get over one million people editing websites, and most of them are just
editing little mindless errors like saying orr etc. So thats why we don't let you update
every day.
<PokeBound> <Xoom> We have manditory shut downs due to loss of power in our old abandent power
building, and we like taking long lunch breaks.
<PokeBound> <Hotbot> Though we say we make it easy for people to get use our search engine, we
seprate links into small groups like news, and weather. And we even make them so that it will
take you a long time to find it since, we like annoying people.
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reidman gets cheesed off. Gather 'round for the story.
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*** reidman sets mode: +m
<reidman> OK, once again
<reidman> you guys are being FLAMING PSYCHOS
<reidman> this is my attempt to restore peace to the #earthbound landscape
<reidman> this is a story about a little IRC user who thought it would be funny to cheese
reidman off
<reidman> this little IRC user said "Tee hee hee! I think I'll be a big DORK!"
<reidman> reidman got uuuun happy
<reidman> reidman put on his big, shiny, steel toed boots
<reidman> reidman kicked people
<reidman> THE END
*** Retrieving #earthbound info...
*** reidman sets mode: -m
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We all realize the truth about Police and his hobbies.
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<TomatoSan> now go watch Episode 4's lightsaber battles...
<PoliceN64> I licked , The Mummy better!
<TomatoSan> they're pathetic
<PoliceN64> Not licked...Liked!
<PoliceN64> LOL!
<PoliceN64> Sorry bout that = D
<PoliceN64> Stop Looking At Me!!!
<PoliceN64> Aghhh! I am in trouble now! = )
* reidman takes a step back from police because he doesn't like episode 1, then another step
back after hearing how he licks mummies
* Plo- stares at PoliceN64
<Plo> we all know u have problems with licking mummies, but u can get over that with proper
treatment...... \:-/
(Editors Note: This was even funnier in person because after PoliceN64 said he licked the
Mummy, everybody was so stunned that nobody said anything for approximately 30 seconds :)
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Ultimoo makes the mistake of asking an innocent question
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<Ultimoo> ok, what was Giygas's original intention at the beginning of the game
<Giygas> to destroy the Universe!
<reidman> to gather all the blueberry muffins on the earth an-- oh, yes, to destroy the
universe
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Insanity. Pure and simple.
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*** Dash is now known as TomatoClo
<TomatoClo> If you can guess what Clo means, I will give you ten cents
<Plo> clover?
<PFresh> clown
<Plo> close?
<reidman> ehhh...those monsters under the bed that eat your socks?
<TomatoClo> no. it means a dead cow on stilts. Come on.
<Natechan> well..clamato is a type of sauce made with Clams and Tamatos
<Dash> I thought i told you to burn the water.
<Plo> heh
<reidman> so does that make it possible to have ranchegar salad dressing?
<Natechan> hehe..sure, why not
<Plo> Quiz: Can u burn water?
<PFresh> yes
<PFresh> water is flammable
<EBounding> Clod?
<reidman> and mustup for hotdogs? wish olishes on the side?
<Dash> water is flammable if 2/3rds of a monkeys tail is added to it.
<PFresh> monekys!
<Plo> quiz answer in 30 seconds
<PokeBound> now ranch salad
<reidman> ralad. or sanch.
<PokeBound> no ranch salad
<Plo> yes it can
<Natechan> rasalanch
<reidman> oooh....choke is cherry coke
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Fun with IQ's
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<meowse> I don't even know what my IQ is.
<DarkStarM> i don't either
<DarkStarM> i gotta go
<DarkStarM> bye
<Giygas> Well, id you're smarter than my friend, you have an IQ of <190
<Giygas> he can't even spell "believe" right
<Giygas> or "cow", for that matter
<TomatoSan> neither can people in Venezuela, so...
<Lavos> lol
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Political Correctness
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<EBounding> No. It was a ROM translation site. Where groups would post information on re
translating Jap ROMS
<Lavos> aww dangit!
<EBounding> But it's gone now.
<Natechan> wow..now theres an Idea
<TomatoSan> yeah, Jap ROMs to white boy language
<EBounding> Is Jap derrogetory to the Jappanese?
<EBounding> heh heh
<TomatoSan> yes
<Natechan> hehe
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Political Incorrectness
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<The_Blob> You be frontin'...what's up wit tat
<Tomator> yo yo yo, o cos homey
*** DarkSM is now known as DarkStarM
<DarkStarM> There
<DarkStarM> lol
<The_Blob> LOL
<Starman> that was WEIRD!
<Tomator> how much you got?
<reidman> just so everyone knows, we're not being racist, just poking fun :)
<DarkStarM> reidman read my article?
<reidman> dark - yeah, skimmed it
<Tomator> okay, time for Native American mode
* EBounding tries to dance, but can't.
<The_Blob> yeah...what he siad
<reidman> ROFL tomato
<Tomator> ...
<The_Blob> LOL
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Secrets Revealed
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<reidman> its my personal thing for now...i'll release a user version some time
*** aeromus is now known as aerobrb
<|_0[o-S4n> yea so we can all be like reid!
<reidman> loco, i told you not to mention my plans for world domination. sit in the corner and
think about what you've done
<|_0[o-S4n> grrrr
<reidman> down! down, i say!
*** |_0[o-S4n is now known as cornerboy
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AOL Commentary
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<Loco-san> no I think AOL is gonna make AOLOS and compete with MS
<tigeryak> oh god, i'd kill myself if microsoft bought AOL
<tigeryak> AOLOS?
<tigeryak> AOL Operating System?
<Loco-san> yeah
<tigeryak> hah
<Ultimoo> AOL ON STEROIDS??
<tigeryak> yeah right
<Tomato> I'd die if AOLOS came out
* PFresh is frightened by AOLOS
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More Scary Stories!!
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<DarkStarM> it's not stupid
*** reidman is now known as reidemon
<DarkStarM> it's my opinion
<reidemon> neither would reid. reid gets mad pretty easy
<DarkStarM> god
<DarkStarM> I said leave me alone
<reidemon> ok
<EBounding> Story Time Story Time!
<Tomatoway> yay!
<reidemon> mebbe everyone lost the ability to see reid's remarks
* EBounding claps his time
*** Tomatoway is now known as Tomato
<EBounding> Time?
<reidemon> so we're going to have a nice story
<EBounding> I meant hands
<reidemon> Everyone gather round
<reidemon> get comfy
<reidemon> ok
<reidemon> This is the story of the two bad little IRC'ers
* EBounding puts his finger in his nose
* reidemon smacks EBounding upside the head
<reidemon> stop that. its not healthy
<EBounding> :P
<reidemon> Anyways
<reidemon> one bad little IRC'er said "Hey, I'm older than you!"
<reidemon> the other one said "Well I can kick your #$(* #@(*!"
* EBounding 's are big
* EBounding 's eyes are big
<reidemon> then the two bad little IRC'ers got in trouble
<EBounding> *gasp*
<reidemon> because the BIG, BAD, SCARY reidman came
<reidemon> AND BIT THEIR FREAKIN HEADS OFF!
* EBounding wets his pants
<Giygas> Scary? <*HAHA*>
<PFresh> did this really happen?
*** reidemon is now known as reidman
* AppleKid wets his pants too!
<DarkStarM> i told him to leave me alone
<reidman> yes, this is a true story
<tigeryak> gasp
* PFresh is scared out of his mind
* EBG starts to tear up
<reidman> now everyone go to sleep...sweet dreams
<DrForestr> reidman..... or should I say Ozzy Osbourne?
<DarkStarM> i just said that it would be stupid to have a clay model movie of eb
<PFresh> am i dead?
<Tomato> I want another story!!
<EBounding> NO!
* tigeryak wants to know why ebounding and applekid wet their pants
<DarkStarM> i want to tell a story
*** tigeryak has quit IRC (EGO ORBS SHALL DOMINATE THE WORLD_)
* PFresh hates cheese
<Tomato> about wolves and evil little kids that take reid's nick
<DarkStarM> reidman can I tell a story?
<DarkStarM> please
<EBounding> Only reid can tell stories
<DarkStarM> why?
<DarkStarM> thats not fair....
<DarkStarM> please reidman?
<EBounding> If he doesn't, he becomes reidemon
<MoldySpor> hmm..
* PFresh is scared of the big, bad reidman
* MoldySpor runs and hides
<EBG> and darn well you should be
* Tomato notes that reidemon has 50 times more power than reidman
<EBounding> lol
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What Goes Around Comes Around
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<reidman> hey
<Disguise> Hey
<DarkStarM> hey reid!
<reidman> that was a NASTY system crash
<DarkStarM> lol
<Disguise> I heard this is a stupid channel
<EBounding> yay
<DarkStarM> i've had nastier
*** Disguise was kicked by reidman (I heard you're an ugly homo_)
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Major Psychic Pyscho Alert!
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<aerobrb> well I say she's sexy ;P (now, to wait for a kick... =P)
<reidman> yeah motator
* PFresh is still scared from the story
*** aerobrb is now known as aeromus
<Tomato> cool
*** aeromus was kicked by reidman (you sure can call 'em)