This week's mailbag topic:

What do you think of the player's guide?

Here's this week's mailbag, with co-answer person Matrix!

Todays lesson: Never scratch the scratch cards in the back of the players guide in a car on a long car trip unless you want said guide to be thrown out the window by your father. There will be a quiz.

~Bloop182



You're lying, he did not throw the thing out the window. First of all, if you put it in the back of the car under anything, you wouldn't be able to smell it. Second, it would be too much trouble to take the thing from you and throw it out the window, unless you gave it to him or something. Fool.

~diospadre



Yikes, too bad for the guide... maybe if that was me I'd jump out of the car after the players guide... MAYBE. Ah what am I saying I really would.

~Matrix

I love my player's guide. I have read through the newspapers over and over and over and over again. Its also fun to look through it for all the mistakes. I haven't found any new ones though. All the mistakes that I have found have already been discovered.

My player's guide is in pretty good shape considering its age. The corners on the cover are bent and the first few pages are all wrinkled because my sister spilled water on it.

~Picky



I like the newspapers too. The one thing that still boggles me is that lady in the ad for the diet program. How did they do that!? THe women look exactly the same, and the bars she's holding are the same width, so they couldn't have just stretched the pciture! How how how!?

~diospadre



Boy, them Player's Guides sure don't like water I'll tell you that.

~Matrix

Greetings, whichever strange Starmen.net staff member will be reading this. This is my first mailbag post, and I've posted like twice in the Forum.

Anyway, the players guide is most likely a substance created by Nintendo to seduce us into thinking that EB64 will come out soon.

In reality, when I first got EB, I used the Players Guide all the way, and now the game has lost some of its replay value. But it was a fun read.

~Mirelli



Yes, the book is well done. That's what caused my young and stupid mind to make the decision to not play the game unless the guide was open and sitting on my lap. Oh, how innocent and foolish I was back then.

~diospadre



Yeah the Player's Guide is fun to read and stuff and it walks you through the game but some people scoff at that say that it's just taking the challenge and fun out of the game. ... I say to the heck with that the Player's Guide rules!

~Matrix

Looove the Players Guide. It helps me through the game. *Hugs her players guide*.

Pretty bad condition, though. I bought it used off of E-Bay. all the pages exist. No Scratch-and-Sniff cards, though. How sad.

~Raichu26



Continuing on the stupid diospadre from a few years back story, I ripped the cards out on the first day for some reason. Maybe I figured I wouldn't like the game, I don't know. I was stupid, what do you want from me?

~diospadre



Consider yourself lucky, ever wonder what they put IN those Scratch-and-Sniff cards? Think about it... ¬_¬

~Matrix

Obviously the best thing about the player's guide is that it comes with the game, thereby eliminating having to spend an extra 20 bucks like on a lot of RPG's. Ya know what I thought was a really cool, good idea though? Since it was a normal-sized player's guide, Earthbound had to be in a really big box. And since it was in a really big box, stores couldn't just shove it in with all the other games...so everybody noticed it. Very smart of them.

I really liked the players guide when I was much younger (about 12 years old) cause I could cut out all of the neat clay models and put them on my wall, cause Ness was my hero. In fact, I named my goldfish Ness. He lived six months, which is pretty long for a goldfish. Much longer then the other goldfish, Paula. Giygas couldn't take Paula down...but underfeeding and a dirty fishtank could. Am I rambling yet? I don't think the topic had anything to do with fish. Though you did mention birds. Birds are the opposite of fish. Hmm.

~Mr. Foppy



You cut out the pictures? How could you!? I mean my God, I ripped the cards out, but I can't even begin to comprehend how someone could rip the pictures themselves out!

And I once had a goldfish, but one of YMM's stupid friends poored milk creamer into the bowl and it died. I'll have my revenge yet, Tommy Campbell! Fat stuck up piece of crap...

~diospadre



The big box was cool, it was what made me notice it for the first time at Blockbuster. As for your guide.. YOU CUT OUT THE CLAY MODELS?! CUT?!?! YOU MONSTER!

~Matrix

I loved the player's guide! It helped me get through the game without making me think or even try to figure out a puzzle by myself!

~vgpro12



Wow, you seem sarcastic. Are you sure you just didn't get papercuts while reading the thing?

~diospadre



Yeah man, thinking too much makes my brain hurt. I was clinically dead for 5 minutes while I tried to solve the puzzle of the sphinx without the guide.

~Matrix

Hi, everyone! I'm kinda new here, so don't set up me the bomb yet pleasings. Hmm, players' guide? I didn't get it, I borrowed my copy from a friend, and used the Nintendo Power mag's coverage. It's been a long while since I actually read that issue. The only thing I remember about it was Ness sending his parents a postcard saying how Paula looked cute wearing the pig's nose. I'm a sucker for cute, so I tried it, but it didn't seem to make a difference.

~Agent Double 0 Nothing



Paula's clay model made her out to be pretty ugly. I can't even imagine how horrendous she'd like with Chief Wiggum's nose.

Also, Ness did call Paula cute, so that obviously means he's in love with her and she loves him. Take that, Falcon24!

~diospadre



When did anyone ever look cute looking like a pig? I sure know I never did.

~Matrix

Matrix likes the player guide. Matrix read his players guide all the time. One time Matrix rented EarthBound at Blockbuster but the players guide wasn't there... Why? Matrix rented EarthBound before with the players guide. When Matrix bought Earthbound, Matrix had fun. Matrix can't find his players guide now, Where could it be? Matrix is sad.

~Matrix



You know, people would take you a lot more seriously if you weren't so weird. First of all, you expect a manual to come with a game you rented, and then you go and pull this third person stuff. Tsk-tsk. Tsk.

~diospadre



Hah, what a sucker, losing his Player's Gui... oh wait... ... ... *sniff*

~Matrix

Please, oh please help! I think I may have ROYALLY screwed up. Ya know that handy-dandy pencil-eraser that the Apple Kid gave me? Well, in order to make room for other items, I let Paula hang on to it. Now she's been Paula-napped and I can't get to the guru and the yogurt machine. I REALLY don't want to start over. Please, PLEASE tell me there's another way to get her back.

~Janet



Lol oh man that would be crazy if there wasn't a way around that. It might have been transferred to Escargo Express, but if it doesn't consider yourself out of luck. It's a good learning experience though, I guess.

~diospadre



Boy, never heard of that happen before... Well, I don't know anyway around it and it seems like there isn't anyway around it. Heh, call it a bug.

Matrix

First of all, I loved my guide. I say loved because I lost it many a months ago. The content and the pictures were awesome. The only bad part were those scratch-and-sniff cards. Man, I sniffed that SHROOOM! card about two years ago, and my sinuses finally got better enough for me to smell again around last January...

~Yutz



I remember sniffing that card, but my nose has been fine since then. Are you sure you didn't mistake the card for gasoline?

~diospadre



I feel your pain... my poor poor player's guide... *sniff*

~Matrix

dios you need to let me co mailbag someday, i have all the other people beat on the bitter and cynicalnes. Hehe, then when Dios lets me write thoughtless and evil responses to subvert peoples mind I can force them to submit more for mailbag BWAHAHAHAHAH!

oops did I say that last part out loud?

HEY YOU GET AWAY FROM THERE YOU DIDN'T SEE NOTHING!!!!)