This week's mailbag topic:

SM.net Merchandise

Here's this week's mailbag, with co-answer person Anthadd!

I'd really like a mugz0r. I haven't seen the new design, but I want to. I'm sure that it'll look great. So i'm gonna get one.

I'm also getting two posters. One to hang up and one to cut up and mess with. imagine this:

dios finger puppet: I would update mailbag, but I'm too busy with the hordes of girls hanging on me.
reidman finger puppet: So what? get some gal-be-gone and UPDATE OR DIE!!
Luna finger puppet: Hey, what's going on?
EBounding finger puppet: Dunno. I just got here.
Dogbert finger puppet: What are you fools doing! Get back to hailing dogbert!
All: All hail dogbert! All hail Dogbert!

See, that would be fun. I want to see the poster though!

~WiZmO



I'm a little worried for you Wizmo. You are aware that finger puppets don't actually talk, right? Oddly enough, this is more intelligent than most of your forum posts. Weird, huh?

~diospadre



You can not understand the true form of the mug's design! *fwoosh*

And how can an albino bipedal dog foster such a following? It's NOT humanly possible!

...wait a second! Dogbert would be a lot more cynical, sarcastic, and other similar adjectives.

~Anthadd

I want a mug. I already talked to reid and I have to save up like 30$ canadian :( Oh well, I'm getting a mug even if I have to sell my liver on ebay.

~SLing



Starmen.Net fully condones the sale of organs to raise money to give to us.

~diospadre



Never sell your liver! You don't know whether CJD can be reverse transmitted! You could be wasting away after you get your mug from reverse transmitted human variants on bovine encephalopathic diseases!

~Anthadd

On the forums, I've been suggesting such helpful ideas as T-shirts and Smokin' Toilets as merchandise, but since then I've come to the decision that what we really need is an official SM.Net drink. After all, what are people supposed to put in their mugz0rz? Coffee? Tea? Some brand-name fizzy pop? Not a chance! We need to start mass producing lots and lots of some kind of SM.Net cola, and fast!

~SimonBob



Don't you remember Crystal Pepsi, Clinton Cola, or that one soda that Micahel Jackson's dad made? The public isn't too open to stupid soda offerings.

~diospadre



Ah, yes.

I can see it now...

"Recently, a giant Internet community of people who enjoy a game called 'EarthBound' has been arrested and faces charges on copyright infringement. Shigesato Itoi has declined to comment beyond saying he was very disappointed in the community, and that 'Mother 3', whatever that is, will never come out. Coincidentally, not long after this, anguished groans echoed out from many English-speaking countries."

~Anthadd

I want the Piano Book. So make Aquas find it. I told them to check www.doremi.jp.co or something similar, but it's in Japanese, but since that company makes all the other sheet music books, why not the EarthBound/Mother 2 one? They could even have an online store. So someone who understands it should look at it.

Now.

~d`Jeu



Stop whining about not being able to find the book and just go practice pina until you can play by ear. Aqy don't owe you nothin!

~diospadre



Aquas will find it. He just needs to be coerced into doing it.

*bzzt*
Yes, I mean it! Buy out all the pizza companies in North America, so someone named Aquas can no longer "pizzaeat" on IRC!

Now, look into the "memory eraser"...
*bang*

~Anthadd

I. Want. It. ALL. Gimme a shirt, gimme a watch, gimme a rock with Starmen.net painted on the side in kooky Mr. Saturn letters! In faaaaact... I'd also like a stuffed Mr. Saturn, so I could hug it and squeeze it and call it George... but that's beside the point. With swag, the rule is morererer is betererer ^_^

~IceTyger



I read this letter a few days ago, and I thought the idea of a rock with "starmen.net" painted on it was absurd. But then I went to Acen this weekend and Piro and Dom from Megatokyo handed out a pair of ratty old oven mitts that said "I love Megatokyo" on them, and for some reason I wanted them. Now I understand your pitiful desires a little better.

~diospadre



George?

George is only for Montagues and great-grandfathers in the EarthBound\Mother continuum. Try again.

And what's swag? It sounds like something someone sure of themselves ... wait, that's swagger!

~Anthadd

I'm pretty excited about the whole idea or buying Starmen.net paraphanalia. I need good a mug. Hopefully, the mugs will be successful other items can be made. Mousepads, stationary, posters, T-shirts, clothes. Then we can all wear reid's pants.

~Pineapple Kid



Wear reid's pants? I take back my previous statement. I don't understand your freaky desires.

~diospadre



I don't think we'd go as far as to make T-shirts or clothing? They would be rather too expensive for the people here; we don't have a lot of money. And I don't WANT to wear reid's pants! We could get colds from sharing clothing! "Hello, my name is Anthadd. And I am a hypochondriac."

~Anthadd

I love Earthbound, to bad to it didn't get to be released for the N64 :/

Anyhows, who composed the music to the Earthbound Snes game?

~Sucker



Yeah, EB64 was a letdown, oh well. Keiichi Suzuki, the father of online piss pushing, composed all of the music in the game, except for the music he didn't. Don't listen to Anthadd cause he doesn't know what he's talking about.

~diospadre



Yeah, it was too bad. But we could get it on GameCube. Very big but there, people.

Didn't Tanaka Hirokazu compose the music to EarthBound? I'm not sure, or maybe it's Suzuki Keiichi... Tomato would be the better source for information in that respect; possibly the credits.

~Anthadd

I'm the guy who is building a Battlebot for Starmen.net, and also, I am a paranoia writer. I would like to put up my witty articles up on this site if it is okay with reidman, Tomato or Aquas, but if you don't want it, the next place to visit would be ign.com, so take a peek if they (the owner guys) don't like it!

~Dash 103



What weapons does your robot have? A weak little hammer like most of the robots? A stub that spins around? Or a front grille like that stupid firetruck one?

~diospadre



Battlebots, like I said before, might be "red tape" and could attract more worseness than niceness. And what would AQUAS have to do with articles? Don't you mean NeoPaula? Aquas runs merchandise; articles are not merchandise.

~Anthadd

Hey I don't see my fluke on tthe fluke thing why dosen't it show I sent it in a month ago!!!!!

~eminemrocks1288



You haven't been around here very long, have you?

~diospadre



Well, you're more grammatical than others I've seen, but maybe it's because Jeb hasn't been updating (recently resigned), maybe it's because you SUBMITTED IT IN THE WRONG FORMAT AND THE ADMINISTRATORS OF FLUKES DON'T LIKE THAT.

~Anthadd

This note is serious so pay attention. My organization has kidnapped the leader of the so-called "EarthBound Movement", Mr. Edward A. Vasquez (or something like that), and if you do not comply with our demands, we will release him unharmed to the public.

Our demands are as follows:

1) mugz0rz. We want mugz0rz and we want them fast and cheap (I'm thinking around $20 here.) The designs by Meeellla and Plo are just too darn cool.

2) Mousepads. I want a mousepad to make my computer station starmen.net-ish, or something.

3) Baseball caps. Red ones, of course, with some cool logo Meeellla could make. C'mon, you HAVE to do this one, it's EarthBound!

4) Golf balls... no wait, nevermind. That's a dumb idea.

~CPTCrunch



Oh God no! Don't release him! The entire nation would be in jeaporady, we'll have to comply.

As for the golf balls, they'd be cool!

~diospadre



Mugz0rz we should be able to supply. Mousepads are less possibly; baseball caps I would like to see. Golf balls? Relevance?

And you can keep Mr. Vasquez. He matters not to us.

~Anthadd

dios, did I make it into the stupid box?

Yes, Billy. Yes you did.