This week's mailbag topic:

Random letters of lateness.

OMG! The Mailbag is actually here! After a whole month of being screwed with by the Internet company, I finally have proper access. Lots of letters and I all of them except for the ones in here. Well anyway, we're kicking off this week with the random letters, and with the newest staffer Sephy, will be co-responding.

Why do you people think Jeff always gets the short end of the stick? Is it his name? I hope not! It's also my real name. And what baseball team logo do you think is on Ness' cap? Also I would like to comment on Ness' higher-than-normal voice on Super Smash Brothers. Ness is 13, not 5!!! Also, I think that they shouldn't have named "poo" as they did. The name itself is silly! Yes, just plain silly. And I also agree that killer pies would be a great enemy! Thanks!



You're right about Jeff getting the short end of the stick. Even if you get his levels higher before you see him in Threed, in the end he'll end up having the lower or the same levels as everyone else. But he has the most EXP. It's not fair! Fighting all those Cave Boys for nothing...

- EBounding



Ness's cap doesn't have any team on it because it's too small for anything (could you fit a Yankees logo in 4 pixels? I couldn't). They didn't name him "poo" either they named him Poo. It's also a translation issue as well. I bet those guys had sweet names in Japanese, but they stunk in the translation. I probably wouldn't want to be the child of one of the translators; I'd have a name like Foo-Foo.

- Sephy

Hey Starmen.Net!

In Super SMASH Bros. Melee, that blue blob is Pokemon #202, Wobbuffet. His move is Counter which deflects projectiles back at players. That's all I have to say except I love your Melee site! See ya!

Sincerely(the #1 fan of Super SMASH Bros.)-
Mark



I love blue blobs. It shows the creativity of Nintendo.

- EBounding



I think Nintendo embraced Pokemon because they were easier to draw than EarthBound characters. Most Pokemon I've seen can be represented in 3-D by one polygon. And it's funner to talk about them too. "You know that funney lookin blue blob thang," or "I seen that purple jiggalypoof on a Kool-Aid thingy." I hope you do like our Melee site, thanks for stopping in!

- Sephy

I have a hard question.

Hwo do you get to the hidden cave? (also known as "rabbit cave")
(Plays the music tht you can't find aywere in the game but there)


If you know how tell me I've been searching day after day with walk through codes on.



If you want a fully sarcastic answer, read Sephy's response. Rabbits are NOT rodents by the way! They are Lagamorphs (like Chinchillas!). The other day my dog was carrying around my rabbit in his mouth. IT WAS SCARY! So what does this mean for you? It means that you use the Carrot Key on them from after you defeat the Plague Rat of Doom. Rabbits are fluffy.

- EBounding



NESS: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
POO: What's he do, nibble your bum?
[Cutscene]
NESS: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same, I always--
PAULA: Oh, shut up!
[Another Cutscene]
JEFF: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.


That's kinda how it goes, but there's really some holy hand grenade thingy you need, then you can get in.

- Sephy

I can't believe we didn't throw Neo a going away party. Bye Neo!

Anyway, I had a wierd EarthBound Dream once. I was Paula, and Ness was being controlled by Giygas after we lost to him. Hey, I could make the fanfic person happy and write a fic about that.

Ja ne! (Buh-bye!)
~Raichu26



This just shows you how long the mailbag hasn't been updated. Yes Neo is gone and currently being boarded at her school...anyway, if you have any other crazy dreams like that let me know. I'm making a collection (no not really).

- EBounding



Neo shall be missed greatly. One time I had a dream that there was no such thing as pie.

- Sephy

Okay, I'll try not to include any H4X0R language in this message, unlike my other one, which included cheesecake, which obviously baffles some people 324973264953493253295532097 EBOUNDING 324973264953493253295532097. WHAT'S YOUR DEAL WITH DISLIKING CHEESECAKE, ANYWAY?! Anyway, has anyone thought of combining the Mr. Saturn font and style of talking with H4X0R lingo?! THAT'D BE GOOD. B0ING I LIK3 CH3353C4K3 AND P34NUT CH3353 B4RZZZ. DING DING BUZZZZZZZZZZ. Haha. That'd be a nice language. MR S ATORN HAXXX!! My idea will go big, you just wait.



On top of being old, you can also see how RANDOM I chose these letters.

- EBounding



Quick, Jebfus, call teh coharency poliece!

- Sephy

I recently bought an old issue of "Game Players Magazine". it is the August 1995 issue and it contained an advertisment for Earthboun. The advertisement had a pull-the-tab-and-smell feature. The advertisment showed thecarbon dog, trillionage sprout, and the huge-rat-boss from the sewers in Fourside. Needless to say the ad was pretty cool. Also in the issue was a comment about Earthbound from a reader of the magazine. The comment was: "This game is a lot like an afternoon in Bill's [one of the reviewers of the magazine] life -- your enemies are blue-colored, cows come along and tell you jokes, and there's a jazz band that chases away ghosts! This should be a lot of fun for the younger set, but older RPG fans might get bored" That's the comment. Well, I gotta go now, if you have any questions about this, email me. Thanks



If you could get a scan of that ad it'd be interesting to see. Good content for the Mother 2 section.

- EBounding



What I don't understand is how the ad campaign had no self-esteem. There is a subliminal link between smell and quality, and I think that all this rotten-shoe scratch-and-sniff stuff turned people off. But that might be good. If Earthbound became too popular, we'd all have Earthbound lunch boxes and they'd have to make the game really simple and dumb to please the masses. They'd also rename the series Pokemon. BTW I'm arranging the Runaway Five for my school's Jazz Band.

- Sephy

Well, there was this one guy, okay, and he like said like that you could find the Triforce in Deep Darkness. And like, there was this could so when you were on the boat thingy you could go fishing, and catch the Loach. And then they told me that you could unfreeze Winters when you are an adult. And ride a horse as a kid. But I couldn't find the ranch in EarthBound. But it's all true! A friend of a friend told me so.



AND YOU CAN FIND VIDEO OF MISTER ITOI TALKING TO YOU FROM THE TELEVISION SCREEN! AND YOU CAN SEE HIS HOUSE! AND WIN PRIZES!!!!!!!

- EBounding



You lose sir, good day.

- Sephy

Got a question. Why is Ness in Mother2 short and squat, while Ness for Earthbound tall and thin? Just wondering. I'm looking forward to SSB: Melee, it's gonna rule to be Ness in Onette. (When was the last time you got to say that.) I still have great hope for EB on GBA. Just the thought is like visiting Mr.Saturn Valley. Later Guys



Nintendo didn't want to exploit the "out-of-shapeness" that is the youth of America, since Ness is supposed to be all American or something.

- EBounding



Because Ness in Mother 2 ate japanese food, and Ness in Earthbound ate hamburgers and fries. I'll have to ask mato what hamburgers were in Mother 2

- Sephy

I have a very important question. In the forums, I noticed a new topic entitled "how are you gentleman!" I was wondering what it is and why it is closed to the public. Thank you. And you. Yes, you too. No, not you. Yes, you. Me?



It's where we look at all of those 10x cameras (the ones you see in all popup ads) that we set up in your homes. Duh.

- EBounding



It is a secret government operative investigating the effects of moving zig.

- Sephy

3@r+480U\/\D R0XX0R5! Why the heck am I writing this, when I could be looking at you glorious, glorious content?! WHY?!?!?!!

P1+'/ /\/\3,
D@\/\9 1+!



....AND THEN MY RABBIT WAS IN SHOCK! My dog didn't eat it. It must not taste good. I like these kinds of responses.

- EBounding



I breed prize-winning clams.

- Sephy