This week's mailbag topic:

Dumb things you've done in EarthBound.

Another week (or 9 days) another mailbag. This week, the ugly, pink, diaper wearing drowzee from Star Wars WAMPA, will be co-responding the batch this week. The topic was about dumb things in EB you've done. There were quite a lot, and a lot involved the Sword of Kings. Sounds good! Let's get going!

The dumbest thing I EVER did in Earthbound was.....*drumroll*....searching for the Sword of Kings! I was fighting those [censored] starmen for ages. That had to be the stupiderester thingie anyone did. Now go eat some Jell-O. The kind from Costco with the little fuzz pieces in it. Top it off with some booka shavings. Mmmm, tangy goodness. w00t!



I guess the Sword of Kings is a bit overrated, but it's HOURS of insane fun, in most cases.

- EBounding



I went to Costco once. I never saw any fuzzy pudding though...they must hide that in the back room with the under-the-table deals and casino gambling. I've never bothered to try to get the Sword of Kings.

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Dear starmen.net,
I think Everdred's house looks like this lady's house that lives near my house. Also I think Buzz-Buzz looks like a black pixel with wings.

With love,
Milo Winters Jr. (Professional Pianist)


P.S. Remember Pokémon? Pikachu looks like a flamingo.



Random letter, random topic. Good luck in your life Mr. Winters.

- EBounding



I bet that lady isn't a lady at all, but is really Everdred in disguise. Try pulling off her beard, or taking her hat.

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The first time I beat Earthbound, it was like, a really big deal. Well, after I did, I was like "woohoo I beat a cool game yay!" But that night I couldn't sleep because I was having a nervous breakdown because Earthbound stole my social life and stuff. Well, the next day it was really cold and I was still having a nervous breakdown and I was like "ARGGGGGGGG EARHTBOUND YOU ARE THE DEVILS KTHXDAI" and threw my cartridge in a river (no lie -- I even wrote a song about it). Well, turns out I was really having a nervous breakdown because I was growing too fast (4 inches a month in fact) and I had thrown my cart into a river (I mean... COME ON! I could have sold it for ten bucks or something and bought fifteen minutes of counseling). But anyway I went around for a long time without Earthbound but then got it on emulation (hey, it was legal cause technically I purchased the game and do "own" it). So yeah. There.



The kids aren't alright.

- EBounding



I remember the first time I beat Earthbound...mmm it was so sexy. Anyways, yeah, if you throw things in rivers, you either need to seek help immediately, or go to Costco, buy fuzzy jello, liquify it, and drink away your troubles.

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Heh, once when I was younger I shut off the game when I got to Giygas because I was freaked out that something really scary was going to happen. Then I had to start at the beginning of that part. I think I did this multiple times for some stupid reason until I got a bit older, too. (I was only around nine at the time)

Once I was really excited because I defeated the Starman Deluxe and I yanked the controller in a victory swipe. The system went flying, leaving me having to redo THE WHOLE STINKING PART!!!

Bleh.



My friend once ran over a N64 memory pak thing with his truck....ok that doesn't really have much to do with anything, but it shows that whether it's a Super Nintendo, or a memory pak, Nintendo makes high quality products worthy of praise. *gets wad of cash*

- EBounding



As scary as this may sound, I don't even own a Super Nintendo. Which means I don't own an Earthbound cart either. When I was playing Giygas on my happy little emulator, the whole static thing was really loud, and it kinda freaked me out. But I stuck it through, and I WON :D

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I saved $7500 and bought the beach house in Onett before moving on to Twoson. I had absolutely no money when I reached Twoson and couldn't buy anything for quite a while.

I also let someone borrow my copy, and he traded it for Shaq-Fu. (Well, it wasn't really Shaq-Fu, but he did trade the game.)



But if it was during EBFGP, then you could be all snooty and condescending because you did a "CHALLENGE". And Shaq-Fu was also a high quality Nintendo product worthy of-*gets a bomb* Hey!

- EBounding



Any game with Shaq in the title is either somehow related to Kazaam or is a rip-off of something else. I actually forgot about the house until the end of the game, and I went back and bought it for fun with all the moola I had.

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Mwa hahahahaha! I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!!!
On my first play I complealatly skipped Trillionge Sprout By the time I realized that I had started to play a new file. Oh well. Also I got the Sword of Kings once and then *BAM* the power in my house goes out! I was screaming for a half hour!

Salookanana



What's with the Sword of Kings cursing so many people?

- EBounding



On my second time playing Earthbound, for some reason I also forgot to get the Trillionge Sprout. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't get the Sound Stone to work, and after literally 20 minutes or so I realized I had never gotten that little plant. Oh, and sue your power company, citing the damages as extensive emotional trauma due to achievement destruction. Or maybe not.

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Yeah, probably the supidest thing I've ever done was get all of Poo's equipment...yes, even the Sword of Kings. It was rather anticlimatic, to be honest. That, along with the Diadem, Bracer, and Cloak was a "royal" pain. -Mr. Bound By the way



HAHHAHAAH! I actually thought that was funny.

- EBounding



Everyone seems to feel the need to get Poo's stuff. I say leave him in Dalaam and get Jet Li instead.

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Okay...my first time through EarthBound, I had no idea what I was doing. So, I gave Poo the Hawk Eye, and I forgot about it until he was warping away with Skymaster. &*%$!!! Without the Hawk Eye, I couldn't get through Deep Darkness, and I had to restart my game. That's one of the disadvantages of not having a players guide...*sob*......

-NARHippieBoyDudePersonSir



I don't know if you played around long enough to realize this, but I'm positive if Poo has the Hawk Eye, he gives it to Escargo Express and they send it to you.

- EBounding



I'd buy something big and menacing from him if I had the money. I always spend it at ye olde anime shoppe.

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Well, the DUMBEST thing I've done in EB is... well... It was the first time I was fighting Giygas, the first form, my party's HP was kinda low so I used Ness's PSI Rockin Omega on the guy (Yeah, pretty stupid) and WHAMO!! My guys got slaughtered and the bad thing was, I was playing for like 5 hours and forgot to save so I had to go back a ways ^^;;;



Yeah I did that. I'm all like "TIME TO ROX0R GIYGAZ BEHIND!!" But I saved. So I guess that would be more insult to injury

- EBounding



Saving is evil. I almost always save at stupid times, and forget to save at important times. I like the game Civilization II for one reason; it has an auto-save feature. Sexy.

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: I let my sister play EarthBound and she ended up doing the #1 no no in my house.

DO NOT LET THE DOG CRAP ON THE GAMES.

Thank you.



So....your sister's a dog? Or am I misunderstanding? No don't tell me. AGH! So many WAMPAS. It's almost over so he can go back to updating 5 flukes.

- EBounding



My rule would be don't let anything crap on anything. But maybe that's just me.

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