This week's mailbag topic:

Today is EB no Matsuri! So this week, talk about the funfest, or your theories about EB no Matsuri. Does Annual Gift Man REALLY exist? Or is he just a rabid creation of the staffers?

This week's co-responder has a really annoying name to spell. eduD edisnooM will be co-responding. As the moderator of the SSB:M board, I thought it'd be appropriate since this week's topic is mainly about SSB:M. So let the good times roll!

Dear starman.net

Alright we knew the EB64 petition was a failure,but if you haven't noticed,the gamecube has been relleased.hint hint!!!!! We should mail nintendo and ask to make an EarthBound game for it. WE NEED NESS and POKEYS" RETURN!!!
thanx
Adam



OMG! You called it starMAN.net! NOOOO!

- EBounding



And what about Goerge? WE NEED GOERGE"S RETURN TOO!!! And Ms. Cleo! And the Kool-Aid man! And my next-door neighbor who would read my mail and tap my phone line! And my other neighbor who would jump off his roof because he thought he could learn to fly! And that homeless guy who used to sleep on the steps of my garage and wipe the windshield of my car when I drove up and spit in my face when I refused to pay him for the services I never asked for! WE MISS YOU ALL!!!

- eduD edisnooM

You know who should have been a hidden character? One of the guys from Super Dodgeball. I mean, cmon, they can beat the Soviets and become World Champions at dodgeball, traveling the world to beat those Commies. I think they can hold some ground against a silly electric MOUSE. And when he gets knocked out he can turn into an angel like in the game. Mwah hah hah...



Yes and the Berlin Wall can be a level! That doesn't make too much sense, but that's ok!

- EBounding



Yeah, beating the Commies... Man that takes me back. Heh, that Stalin never knew what hit him when I.. uh... You didn't hear that. *Runs*

- eduD edisnooM

i have problems with my earthbound cart i would play right get as far as scaraba on one sit and then i would save like normal then wait a day then play again then i find out my game waas deleted or never saved which sucks seeing the word "start new game" anyways i was wondering if its my snes or my cart?



The battery back up is probably messed up. So you'll either have to play it all in one sitting or get a new cart. And now for eduD edisnooM (your name is annoying to spell by the way! :) less than serious reply.

- EBounding



Ok, you got to Scaraba in one sitting, right? My calculations conclude that through level-ups, bosses, cut-scenes, etc., that would be at least 12 hours of game play. I used to play games striaght like that, but my games usually went on for more like, 5... 6... maybey 30 hours straight. When you stop playing after that long, and then get to your early morning classes 10 minutes later, even oxygen seems funny! Real life becomes more fun then ANY game could ever hope to be! WoOoOoOhOoHoOhOo!

- eduD edisnooM

SSB:M is DEFINITELY worth getting a Gamecube for. This game is every Nintendo fan's dream. I was amazed the first time I played it...everything is done so well, and it includes so many things from our old favorite games. The music, the graphics, the characters, EVERYTHING! So if you haven't bought it yet, what are you waiting for? BUY IT TODAY!



Well I'm convinced. But does it make sandwhiches?...oh it does? Okay.

- EBounding



Never heard of it.

- eduD edisnooM

WOW SSB:M sounds COOOOOOOOOOOL I HAVE to get it (and the gamecube) I really hope Ness isn't as bad as before ie. I would be fighting wow cool a pikachu "he's DEAD HAHAHAHAHAHA DIE PIKACHU" then pikachu says pika and wham away goes Ness AAAARRRRRRG :( :( :( :( :(

Nesskid :)



The kids love sugar.

- EBounding



You make person #1,534,798,132 who i've seen say "HAHAHAHAHAHA DIE PIKACHU" in the last 2 weeks. I mean, not that I could blame any of you for doing so, what with that moron Yamauchi forcing Miyamoto to make Ultra-cute Pokemon sequels non-stop when he could be making Mother 3! Or SSBM Online! Or razzafrazza... *Walks off calling Yamauchi as many inapropriate names as he can think of*

- eduD edisnooM

Yes I'm one of those losers who picked it up the first day.(SSBM) Being a fan of the original, you know how it is.

So far all I can say is-Are those STITCHES on Mario's overalls?
WTF!-Fox has fur?
LOOK-Fire that looks like fire and not orange triangles!
By golly! This game is incredible just by looks alone! (and it might be editable. I'll have to find out)


If you own a gamecube, pick this one up. There's some good fun within.

If not, oh well, your loss.

------
Your Obsessive incoherent EBounding Fanboy,

Frog ;-D



It's good to know that I'm "Your Obsessive incoherent EBounding Fanboy", Frog. Needless to say I'm very scared.

- EBounding



EBounding Fanboy? Why not a eduD edisnooM Fanboy? Fine! Be that way! See if I care! *Runs off crying in shame*

- eduD edisnooM

Why aren't there more "Worker & Parasite's EB Comics?" And why don't you have a comic where Earthbound and South Park meet?



Well you see, WaP was an orphan owned by the site long ago. But he escaped from our clutches a few years ago. :(

- EBounding



I can just see the South Park kids in EarthBound.

Kyle kicks the baby
700 damage to Heavily Armed Cartman!
You can not grasp the true form of Mr. Hat's attack.
200 damage to Stan! 120 damage to Wendy! 190 damage to Kyle! 3000 damage to Kenny! Kenny got hurt and collapsed!
Stan: "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"
Heavily Armed Cartman tried Beefcake Omega.
Stan's PSI shield reflects the attack.
Heavily Armed Cartman: "Aw, weak!"
1700 damage to Heavily Armed Cartman!
Kyle attacks Mr. Hat. 0 damage to Mr. Hat!
Kyle: "How are we going to beat these guys? They just don't give up!"
Wendy: "I know! I'll pray for help!"
Stan: "I've got a better idea!"
Stan throws next week's South Park script at Mr. Hat.
Mr. Hat reads next week's South Park script. Mr. Hat's head explodes.
Twelve Jillion damage to Mr. Hat! Mr. Hat became a handful of 3 cent construction paper. Heavily Armed Cartman runs off shouting swear words not even invented yet. Comedy Central's executives still think their show is funny.

Actually, let's just keep the two licenses seperate.

- eduD edisnooM

SSB:M is out... well... I only have one thing to say about that: YIPPIE!!!! I-want-it-I-want-it-I-want-it! GIMMIE!! I don't care if the Gamecube is 500 bucks, I ...Huh? Ness? What are YOU doing here? What are you going to do with that b--

*SMAAAAASH!!!* *THUNK!*



So, Ness kills you because...?

- EBounding



NESS! What are you doing?! You said I could smash the writer of the next stupid letter! You guys all have somthing against me, don't you? *Runs off crying in shame... again*

- eduD edisnooM

Umm... If you play a game for a half hour and you think it's the greatest game ever, does that mean it really IS the best game ever, or does it just mean you haven't played it long enough for it to start to suck? Anyway, I went to a party with my GameCube and Super Monkey Ball, someone brought an extra controller and SSBM. Needless to say SMB sat on the table the whole time. The party lasted four hours, and of that I got about 30 minutes of play time (hey, I'm human too, I need to eat, drink, and... umm... 'do my business'. Also it was on a 'winner stays, loser leaves' system, I wasn't all that good, and lots of people wanted to play.). However, it was 30 minutes of gaming bliss that I will never forget. (Until I get the game myself and do more stuff that makes me happier.)

Anyway, back on topic. While it may not be worth getting a GameCube just for SSBM, it is definitely worth it to get a GameCube for SSBM AND other great GCN exclusive games.

I sound like an advertisement. Crap, I've been trying to avoid that...



Insane letters used to be only once and a while. But now sane ones are becoming rare. Thank you.

- EBounding



*Looks at subtitle* *Looks at letter*

Dang it, this IS a sane letter! How can I make a response to that?! I... I... I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!! *Runs off crying in shame for the third time today*

- eduD edisnooM

YESYESYESYESYESYES
YESYESYESYESSYES
[and so on and so fourth]

-Matrix



And thus ends this week's mailbag. And it's been a week...really.

- EBounding



NONONONONONONONONONO
NONONONONONONONONONO
[and so on and so fourth]

- eduD edisnooM

[Note from EBounding: Well you have me there.]