News:

Go Back!

 Community
The Tortilla of Greatness - by Dan

The Tortilla of Greatness

The great institution and power over the Earthbound community that was formerly Earthbound.net and now is Starmen.net has had many great contributions toward its rise to power. The genius of great minds like Tomato and Xodnizel, great leadership of reidman, and the awesome cynicism of the Almighty Dan all augment to the site. But all this would have been useless without the inspiration and motivation of none other than: the taco.

Yes, the taco. You heard me correctly. Don't deny it. Listen up, because I'm showing you the truth. The taco is one of the greatest benefactors towards Starmen.net that anyone could conceive. As each of the historical events of Starmen.net happened, the taco was always there to inspire and help, or to cause great pain and stunt the progress of the site (such in the case of Buzz Buzz and his ordeal). While no mortal could possibly understand how the taco affects the human thought patterns and emotions, many have theorized on the possibilities. I will explain a few of those theories in the following paragraphs.

The first theory that must be discussed is the more material, scientific explanation for the taco's resulting effect on greatness. Certain scientists (the ones who drink plenty of tang, mind you) believe that the taco's mixture of meat, meat juice, lettuce, cheese, and various other condiments flow directly from the blood stream into the brain's neurons, causing exceptional greatness. While this theory hasn't been proven due to complete and utter apathy for the subject matter by the scientific community, one could believe such a theory if one also believes in such theories as Occam's Razor (which will become more evident in the upcoming paragraph).

The second theory, of which I previously mentioned, is a more spiritual explanation of the taco paradox. Some complete psychos believe that the taco is nothing by itself, but part of a greater being that controls all human thoughts and actions. These idiots believe the taco super being's "headquarters" is somewhere on another planet, where all is blissful and colorful. (I never said this article was unbiased.)

Well, I believe the article so far has derailed a bit from its original point. With those two theories discussed, one could imagine what power the taco has bestowed upon the creators and workers of Starmen.net. If one looks through the many articles and news posts of Starmen.net, one can see references to the great item. One reference can be seen exemplified by reidman himself:

The contestants to your left and right suddenly turn into oversized, taco-loving Chihuahuas on skateboards. You realize you're in your underwear.

There! Right there. Did you see it? Good. I could give you more examples, but I won't.

One could not foresee what fate has in store for Starmen.net's future. Demise? World domination? A state of limbo? All of these possibilities and many more are open for argument, but one thing is for sure: the taco will always be there. Be there to help, be there to hinder, and be there to consume and fuel for the future.

* Don't harp on me for spelling errors, grammatical errors, or thinking errors.
** I like tacos
� I just wanted to use this symbol. That's all.


Other Submissions by Dan

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
dan An Ode to Mr. Flying Man
Poem
1/7/05 0.00
dan dan-1.png
A fluke by dan
3/13/05 0.00
dan dan-2.png
A fluke by dan
3/13/05 0.00
Dan The Illusion of Safety Finally Shattered
53
7/31/06 0.00
Dan The Tortilla of Greatness
459
7/31/06 0.00

Junk:

Latest Updates:

FANART >:. ...> Monthly Illustration Contest: This Isn't the End!
FANART >:. ...> Artist Spotlight - It is All it's Quacked Up to Be
ARTICLES >:. ...> Theories: Open Sesame!
STARMEN.NET >:. ...> EarthBound Discount Code Sale on My Nintendo!
STARMEN.NET >:. ...> Happy EB no Matsuri Everyone!

Activities:

EarthBound Fanfest 2010
MOTHER 2 Novel Translation Project!
EarthBound Central -- Good News for the Modern Fan
Fangamer Banner
MOTHER 3 Fan Translation
Starmen.Net EarthBound Walkthrough
Starmen.Net Mother 3 Walkthrough
Donate to Starmen.Net!

Site Info:

Wanna know more about the staffers? The Site History? The Forum Badge Guide? All the info is here!

Polls:

How do you use Starmen.net?
Last Week's Poll
Which of the Super Smash Bros. Newcomers is your favourite?
Image of Last Week's Poll

Radio PSI:

Bringing the EarthBound community together through the magic of music.