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Workplace Incentive - by Elobo

Workplace Incentive




[ebff2011] Starmen of all ages and military ranks! Do YOU have what it takes to conquer this miserable mudhole in record time? Want to be SUPER like Christine? Crush those squealing humans beneath your cold, hard heel? Feel superior as we stew these meat bags like prunes? (Get your paraffin set aside because we're going to be canning these suckers to take on the road) So shoot for the stars! It shouldn't be hard, because that's where we're from! So kick up your efforts, ramp up your assaults. All Starmen will receive a raise, only one in every one hundred twenty eight will be deemed SUPER enough to take away a rare sacred Earth treasure! Because when we're through, that's all that's going to be left.



Other Submissions by Elobo

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
Elobo The Bestiary Of Nowhere
An old page restored from an old bestiary. Amongst realworld species, there seems to be a contradiction. This creature is described as having "jaws that rend adamant" a "bellow that shakes the mountainside" and that "its hide deflects all pain." This is highly dubious, and even the pigmen on this page defy explanation. The mostly likely suspects are that this is some children's boogey monster meant to scare them to bed, taken literally as time wore on. Or that the attacks and attributes described are from accounts of multiple beasts. That is to say, the stories became rolled up into one, making some kind of ultimate chimera.
3/15/10 0.00
Elobo The Big Man
[Halloween 2009] They thought they would pull one over on him, take the control of his "family." They stabbed him in the back, locked him in a nest of the Undead. But his fury was too strong, his will was not swayed. He reveled in his reviled and grotesque new seat of power. And with his own hands and teeth he swayed all of the would-be usurpers back under his diretion in a shower of blood and viscera. And when their usefulness had run its course, he disposed of them with extreme prejudice.
2/7/10 0.00
Elobo The Daily Grind
Nothing exciting ever happens here. Sure, Ruffini's spirit medium skills were fun... for maybe a month. But who wants to know you're just part of a game? Who wants your mortality and lack of autonomy spelled out for you by a little white dog? It's sobering, it's humbling. It's depressing. And I know I'm doomed to stand here every day selling the same old stuff to the same four kids because that's my lot in life and I know it and I hate it. I just can't wait to go home and sleep and dream of a world where I'm the master of my destiny. Ha, not even that. Nighttime is just a convenient illusion for the "player."
9/10/09 0.00
Elobo The Dire War of the Guys from Two Different Cultures in Battlefire Engulfed Deep Darkness
[FANFEST - War Between Saturn and Tenda] The Saturns coveted what the Tendas had: spices, truffles, bird phones. Their relations with this race were strained to the breaking point, however. They thought the Tenda were a weak race unworthy of their gifts. After fulfilling their duties to the Chosen in 199X, they decided to move in on their bitter foes and take their treasures for their own (for use in fancy dress balls). They expected a clean sweep. But the Tendas were no longer meek. They had quickly grown as a species and solidified the relations between their tribes. They became bolder and bolder, and soon began to prepare for the inevitable. Now, on their home turf, they aren't about to relinquish it without a fight.

For the submission to the site proper I fixed the title, ha ha. There is one thing I can't fix, however, in the art. It's a pretty striking snafu when you catch it, but I've already submitted it so I can't go back and tidy it up ;).
2/7/10 0.00
Elobo The Ladies' Fave
Be still my cheese clogged heart, my chest goes thumpa thumpa at the very sight of this Adonis wrought in pink fur. His lips must taste of the highest grade Parmesan. What depths do his perfect orbits reach hidden behind those dramatically awesome shades? Can such a mouse be truly faithful to one woman? Or is his heart truly unobtainable and untamable? Perhaps this bad boy image is why I have pledged him every fibre of my being. Perhaps... the rebelliousness inherent to his character is even more beautiful than his perfect hair. Sigggghhhhhhh....
1/22/10 0.00

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