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The Photo Man - by Ostricho

The Photo Man

Ness walked back to his house for the first time after defeating Frank Fly. He was exhausted, and he was homesick. More than anything, he just wanted to have some of his mother's delcious homemade steak and have a rest in his own bed rather than the ratty ones with itchy sheets at the Onett Hotel. As he walked past the mailbox, suddenly, something happened that he would never have expected. From the air above him, he heard a fanfare. A man in his late fifties with a blond beard and mustache descended from the heavens, swirling down like a spinning top, and landed in front of Ness.
"Pictures taken instantaneously! I'm a photographic genius, if I do say so myself!"
Ness stared on, flabbergasted, but eventually mustered a grin and a peace sign with his fingers before the Photo Man took a snapshot and went swirling back into the sky. Above the clouds he went, and continued upwards, passing passenger jets and Spiteful Crows. The air grew thin, but the Photo Man's face did not turn blue, nor did he begin to choke. He continued, swirling upwards into the sky. He was now high above the Earth, now swirling about in the void of space, and in this airless vacuum, he continued upwards, towards Giygas' mothership. A hatch opened on the bottom on the metal beast, and the Photo Man swirled inside; the hatch closed neatly behind him.
Inside the mothership, the Photo Man removed his human skin, revealing the Starman minion underneath the silly disguise.
"Fuzzy *click* pickles." The Starman laughed and sighed. "I can't believe the *boop* stupid Earth boy fell for it."
He took his snapshots- valuable information in this war against the Chosen One- and presented them to his mentor, the Starman DX.
"Perfect," said the Starman DX. "Using photoshop, we can manipulate these photos to give Ness a bad public reputation. Make it so he's beating a puppy or something."
"That won't need editing," said the Starman, and pulled out another photo of Ness beating a Runaway Dog with a baseball bat.
Regardless, the two opened up Photoshop anyway, and gave Ness a double chin, severe acne, ripped clothing and greasy hair.
Photo manipulation is wrong, children.


Other Submissions by Ostricho

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
Ostricho Andonut's Breathtakingly Stupid Adventure
Dr. Andonuts and Big Foot go on a wonderfully dumb journey.
6/13/12 0.00
Ostricho Classroom Blues
Plunkin' this one out on my 3DS, at Green Bay
7/25/12 0.00
Ostricho Cops Beat Up Ness- Theory
A wacky theory.
3/29/12 0.00
Ostricho Dalaam Theory
Ostricho's return to the Theories section... let's see how it goes!
5/26/12 0.00
Ostricho Duster's Limp Theory
My idea of how Duster got that limp of his.
10/25/11 0.00

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