The Best of IRC

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Volume #14
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...I feel a breeze...
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<Culex> I am matter...
<Culex> I am antimatter
<Culex> I can see your past
<Culex> I can see your future...
<Culex> I consume time...
<Culex> And I shall consume YOU!
<`Frieza> and i can see your underpants
* Culex blushes
<`Frieza> lol
* Culex covers his underpants


-------------------------------
For those with too much time...
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<diospadre> i have a microwave
<diospadre> its cool
<diospadre> you put cd's in it and the house burns down


-------------------------------------------------------------
Hint: Never Light a match after something like this happens.
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<|Dan|> Little have I forgoten that I refilled my gas tank in the lawn mower
<|Dan|> and was messy
* |Dan| feels nautious
<|Dan|> ah! the finger is back in my mouth!
* |Dan| pulls it out
<|Dan|> it keeps on going back in, stupid impulses. Off to wash my hands
<|Dan|> mm now my hands smell like soapy gasoline
<|Dan|> Trust me, it's an odd smell


----------------
Memories of X...
----------------

<MoldySpore> wtf
<MoldySpore> is chanop lagged?
<|Dan|> yes, deeply
<MoldySpore> crapo
<MoldySpore> I'm having flashbacks of Undernet
<|Dan|> LMAO


---------------
The Dating Game
---------------

<`Striker> why do people talk about their love interests in internet chat rooms?
<sKaNkPiT> `Striker, i love you, and im interested in striking
<EBaholic> :-o
<`Striker> ....uhhhhh
<`Striker> heheh
<MrAccident> !!!!
* EBaholic hides from Skankpit
<Ed_the_Moogle> LOL
<sKaNkPiT> ;)
<Clock_of_Dali> umm...
<MrAccident> kick him!
<EBGuy> heh
<Clock_of_Dali> scary
<EBaholic> Skanky is there something you want to tell everyone?
<sKaNkPiT> yes, i like hamburgers
<`Striker> heheh
<EBaholic> Indeed
<EBaholic> I liek meilk


---------------------------------------------
Bolding going where no man has gone before...
---------------------------------------------

<Tomato> in japan
<Tomato> there are two different types of outlets
<EBounding> Do the toliets talk to you and make colorful fountains?
<Tomato> the eastern part uses diff electricity than the western part of japan
<Tomato> there are two toilets in my house, one is normal and one has lots of buttons, sorta
  like a star trek toilet thingy
<Tomato> i never used that star trek toilet, too scary
<EBounding> LOL
<EBounding> are you serious?


--------------
A Poker Hybrid
--------------

<Gary^17>...................
<Cyan683>I'll take that raise, and raise you ............. too.
<Gary^17> ..............................................................
<Bradlegar> vhosting
<Bradlegar> Oh yeah, Gary? Well, I see your fify dots and I'll raise you ninety!
<Gary^17> .......
<Cyan683> I'll see that raise of 7 dots, and raise .................... more.


--------------------------------------------------
And to think THX goes through this all the time...
--------------------------------------------------

* Skulryk digitally remasters #earthbound
<Skulryk> There! Now you are all my digitally remastered slaves!
* Skulryk makes everyone talk backwards
<Phoenix9384> NOOOO!!!
<Mirutanku> ih
<Phoenix9384> !!!OOOON
* Skulryk turns #earthbound upside-down
<SLing> pots
<Phoenix9384> gnad
<Skulryk> you dont gotta talk backwards anymroe
<Phoenix9384> good
<Phoenix9384> I'm getting a head rush...
<Anthadd> !restaM kraD a si kylrukS !oN
*** Skulryk changes topic to 'You are all my digitally remastered slaves!'
* GL-Wizard is NOT a digitally remastered slave
* TsuramiSea laughs
* Phoenix9384 digitally remasters himself...AND IT WORKED!!!
<Phoenix9384> hahahaha
<Mirutanku> dad ih
<Mirutanku> hi dad
* Skulryk puts #earthbound in STEREO SOUND
<Skulryk> hrm
<Skulryk> I need something to digitally remaster!
* Skulryk digitally remasters Pokemon into nonexistence
* Vinnie digitally remasters your face
* GL-Wizard does not want to be digitally remastered
<Skulryk> I'm digitally remastering EVERYONE!
* Skulryk digitally remasters reidman
* Anthadd digitally remasters Skulryk into his willing servant.
<Skulryk> I cant be digitally remastered!
<Skulryk> noooooooo!
* Skulryk sinks into a digitally remastered portal with a THX Stereo sound "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
* Anthadd digitally remasters ChanOP.
*** Skulryk has left #earthbound (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)


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So... what was going on, again?
-------------------------------

<Falcon24> forward them to me
<spaanoft> ...
<godofcows> too late
<godofcows> I already said it
<Falcon24> I'm funnier than stupid bovine deity
<spaanoft> ...hehe...
<godofcows> no I'm funnier than you
<Falcon24> nevair
* spaanoft lets you two fight it out
* Falcon24 lunges at goc
<Skulryk> hey
<Skulryk> PANTS are funnier than both fo you
<Skulryk> so shut up
* Falcon24 attacks Skulryk
* godofcows lunges at Skulryk
* Skulryk throws bobby's pants at Falcon and Goc
* Falcon24 steals bobby's pants
* Falcon24 runs


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The next FOX Special: "When Good A-Teams go Bad..."
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<NinjaBoyNeo> A Team for Atari! LOFL!
<Mysterious_sub1> Yeah!
<ZaphodBee> a crack commando team was sent to miitary orison
<Traceh> heh
<ZaphodBee> for a crime it didn't comit
<NinjaBoyNeo> you were Mr.T with that craptacular image
<Ed_the_Moogle> that was like the worst game ever
<Ed_the_Moogle> lol
<ZaphodBee> they promplty escpaed from a maximum security stockade
<NinjaBoyNeo> lol
<ZaphodBee> to the los angelos underground
<Ed_the_Moogle> you become mr. t's disembodied head, and are exposed to a seizure-inducing
  flashing display of lights
<NinjaBoyNeo> Zaph, you crazzee ron
<NinjaBoyNeo> lol
<Ed_the_Moogle> god that game made me hallucinate mr. t's floating head for a year
<NinjaBoyNeo> lol
<reidman> hahahah
<reidman> rofl
<NinjaBoyNeo> Atari can have that kinda effect on you...


--------------------------------------------
Late night fun that'd make Mel Brookes proud
--------------------------------------------

<Nall> Spaceballs - The Quoter! "What's all this churning and bubbling. You call that a radar
  screen?!" - Dark Helmet
<Nall> No sir. We call it, "Mr. Coffee". Care for some?
<Nall> Yes. I always have coffee when I watch radar. You know that.
<Nall> Of course I do, sir.
<Nall> Everybody knows that!
<Nall> OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!
<Nall> ...now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar. Where is it?
<Nall> Over here, sir.
* Nall points to a machine labelled, Mr. Radar
<Nall> Switch to teleview.
<Nall> Ah, Planet Druidia. And underneath the air-shield, 10,000 years of fresh air. We must
  get through that air shield.
<Nall> We will, sir. Once we kidnap the princess, we can force her father, King Roland, to give
  us the combination to the airshield. Thereby, destroying Planet Druidia, and saving Planet
  Spaceball.
<Nall> Everybody got that?
<Nall> Good. When's the wedding being held?
<Nall> Within the hour, sir.
<Nall> Well I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cause it's gonna be a short honeymoon.
* Nall chuckles, and drinks some coffee.
<Nall> Mmm... MMM!!!
* Nall spits out the coffee!
<Nall> HOT! Too hot!!!


----------------------------
reid... doesn't want to know
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<Blade_Runner> Sit down...
<QuizMan> I can't
<Blade_Runner> why?
<QuizMan> I don't have a pelvis
<waffy> uh?
<reidman> ....
<Blade_Runner> okay then...
<reidman> MAN i pick bad times to look in the channel
<waffy> ...
<Chronot> wah?
<reidman> i'm outta here


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And the deluxe edition is ever better!
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<Onionman> it keeps trying to open up real plater but i deleted it
<Onionman> player*
<Onionman> lol
<reidman> heehee
<reidman> real plater, the shareware program that lets you design your own plates
<LousySpy> I got a real plater too!
<Onionman> arr real player.. LOL
<reidman> you can have flat ones, or flat ones with cracks in them


=========================
   One liners & Shorts
=========================

*** Plo changes topic to 'I am a miniature biclops, born with no horns and has hair'


<MTSowbug> Dear spaanoft: Thank you for the ping. It was brown in color and pleasant to read.
  My ping reply was one second, which I appreciated very much. Sincerely, MTSowbug


<OnionKindaAWAY> go eat a smurf dan..


<AppleKidX> Peligroso! Piso mojado! (Who says that working at Wal*Mart isn't educational...)


<Cyan683> *Sir, I am getting incredible readings on the weirdness detector. I guess we must
  be near #earthbound then.*


<Shrooom> hey, you two! Take it to #outside!


* Anthadd possessed ChanOP in a frightening manner! However, it didn't work...
<Anthadd> Darn.


<Ed_the_Moogle> once I typed 23 pages of tabs and the printer spat out 23 blank pages
<Ed_the_Moogle> proving that I have no life


* Luna` chews on electrical wiring, causing a blackout in the chatroom


<Tomato> now we play, "The Waiting Game"
<Tomato> oh the waiting game sucks, let's play hungry hungry hippoes


<Poo-> At the end of a rainbow you will find a pot of gold. At the end of this line,
  ----------> you will find a blank space


<LousySpy> "Your compuyter needs a piece of garbage which allows Shockwave to play QuickTime
  movies. We can't decide what the heck we're showing here! is it a ShockWave animation, or a
  QuickTime Movie? Download a big huge file to find out!!!"


<sKaNkPiT> my bass's name is "my bass"