A week about time.

What's the longest time you have to spend intentionally doing one specific thing in order to proceed in the game? (Hint: don't zoom through this question.) Three minutes, doing nothing behind Grapefruit Falls. (Most people, for some reason, were answering the one specific thing you had to do, or where you had to do it.)
Where are you if you head into a city on a bus, see somebody as you're on your way in, and after you get off you head back to talk to him, only to find he's not there anymore? Threed.
What (theoretically) inanimate (yet somehow sentient) characters in Magicant probably passed on many seasons ago? The snowmen.
Which human boss, fought in Eagleland, is probably the least likely to die of an "old person" disease? Frank. All the other human bosses fought in Eagleland are, at worst, heading into middle age and so are more likely to get "old-people" diseases.
What's the time-based irony with the "optional" phone numbers you can acquire over the course of the game? Mach Pizza is slower than molasses in a Plutonian January. Escargo Express exceeds the speed of light.

EBsessor, Ranger were right on time.

Apparently I cut up a few too many onions last week, so I've been crying for a few hours now.

If you were fighting an entire battle using only the up arrow, the down arrow, and the A button (or L trigger if you're playing one-handed), who would be least likely to hit an enemy if they were crying? This would be Jeff. Ness, Paula and Poo can all use some sort of attack PSI, which ignores whether or not the user is crying.
Which family member of a hero character makes a reference to crying? (Identify by hero character and relation, e.g. "Poo's third cousin eight times removed") Paula's father.
Which tag-along NPC can also suffer from the status ailment of "crying"? Pokey, who pretends to cry.
What item kind of looks like a teardrop in silhouette? (Hint: the item even sounds like it could be associated with teardrops.) The Hawk eye.
What's the first enemy you can encounter that can give a war cry? Crested Booka.

MrAl, matilda_caboose, Mr. L, Toomanypenguins and Mr. Sword were victorious.

Is it just a step to the right?

Which two characters travelled an explicit number of years through time (whether forwards or backwards)? Starman Junior and Buzz Buzz. It's not specified how far back Giygas is waiting.
What enemy has an attack intimately associated with the concept of "time"? The Dali's Clock can stop "time".
What are two physical places (i.e., places whose names don't vaguely rhyme with 'applicant') that you can be in at two different times of day? I accepted any two of Onett, Winters and Threed.
Which of the five phone numbers has a certain time-dependent function that can nevertheless be avoided by playing wisely? (Hint: this has nothing to do with the idea of the phone-number question on the last time theme week.) If you've been playing too long, your dad calls and asks you if you want to quit. You can avoid this by calling him and saving (and quitting) before the time limit is up. Also, a save-restart can reduce the time waiting for Mach Pizza to literally no time at all, which is helpful.
As suggested by the Hieroglyph, what's the frequency of alien invasions in the EarthBound world? (e.g. "1 invasion per x years") It's one invasion every millennium (1000 years).

Blue_Monkey, Culix, EB Player Super, Goggles, Rose Friday, Scott Dumblauskas, DDR Paladin*, 7ucky*, Ravenshaw*, SimonBob* and Henry Midfields* won.

* These entrants were not originally noted as winning; after a review, it was decided that their answer of "Mach Pizza" was acceptable.

You rub my back, I rub yours?

What two locations do you immediately gain access to after resolving certain contractual disputes? (Hint: they're not both, say, cities or dungeons.) The only contractual disputes in the game (setting aside the "but but but marriage contract!" argument...) are the ones involving the Runaway Five. If you square their debt with the Chaos Theatre, they'll take you to Threed. Similarly, when you bribe Miss Fake to tear up their contract at the Topolla, the Department Store reopens. The Two-Three Tunnel is already available to you.
What's an item (which is the only one of its kind in the game) that you get from someone to whom you have just given another item (which is also the only one of its kind in the game)? Pick one: Tendakraut, Trout yogurt, Bad key machine, Pair of dirty socks.
What are two instances in the game when a character in your party has learned some PSI as the result of rigourous, long-term training not involving the words "YOU WON" in coloured text? Poo learns a gobsmack after completing his Mu training. Then Star Master takes Poo away for some time to teach him the method of shaking off the stars at α-level strength, and afterwards completes that training to Ω-level strength. Also, Ness is trained to use Teleport α. Ness does not learn Teleport β through training.
Ignoring Starman Junior for a second, who or what is the first non-Sanctuary boss that can be accessed without having to fight a non-boss enemy that's a subordinate (follower) to him/her/it? Everdred. You have to go through a Yes Man Junior to get to Frank, and fight four cops to be able to fight Strong.
What two dungeons does a party member's knowledge of an ancient language allow you to access - without entering any of the other dungeons that this knowledge allows you to (relatively immediately) access without going through any other dungeons? The Pyramid and the Sewers. All other dungeons are either already accessible, only become accessible by going through the Sewers (Pink Cloud), or are only accessible after going through the Pyramid (Dungeon Man, etc.).

Culix, EB Master, EBsessor, kgiax, Phinos, SimonBob and Wasuremono were the squeaky wheels that got the greased.

May as well keep these archives going!

What's the item, whose usefulness can be in certain cases double or even triple what it normally is, that you will pick up while going through Mystery City 1? (Remember, it's not necessarily a literal city.)
What serves as a substitute for a hospital in Mystery City 2?
As you're leaving Mystery City 2, two people call you in quick succession (and thus imply that you should be heading to Mystery City 3). Who are they?
If you're going to try to find a certain infamous item in the dungeon you're headed to in Mystery City 3, why should you try to find it before completing the dungeon?
Of the three Mystery Cities this week, which are you required to travel through or visit most often? You can answer either as "Mystery City #" or as its actual identity (like "Mystery City 3" last week was Fourside). (Hint: you have to visit/travel through it as many times as its Mystery City number - 1 or 2 or 3, and the last of these visits is the one referred to above.)

Unfortunately, I don't know who won this last question set.

Question 1: You'll be paying nearly double for this if you fall prey to the inflated resort prices prominent when you can first buy this item.
Answer: Diamond Band.

Question 2: The cultists might give you an odd look when you walk into their town wearing this bit of headgear, the strongest you'll find until you get more party members.
Answer: Hard Hat.

Question 3: This bit of gear will keep any wearer safe from all but the most concerted of offensive psychic onslaughts, offering serious protection from Flash, Fire, Freeze, and Paralysis attacks. Typically worn attached to a necklace.
Answer: Star Pendant.

This week's winners: Alxprit, Arlin, Captain Bozo, EnnuiKing, J_Spade, Lord Bob Bree, Minkz0r, Strawberry Tofu, and Vid.

Welcome in the holiday with this week's theme: Spooky, Scary, and All-Around Creepy!

Question 1: This guy running around Threed just wants to fit in with the other monsters, but he's nothing more than a kid. Fond of pumpkin seeds.
Answer: Trick or Trick Kid

Question 2: A relative of an enemy in Threed, this nasty fellow can rapidly render party members useless through status effects. Also fond of eating shields, not that you'd want to waste your PSI so late into the game anyway.
Answer: Squatter Demon

Question 3: This potential invention is a goldmine for creepers and weirdos the world 'round, though how it determines who to attract would be left to personal preference. Separating the subject and invention might be a bit of an issue as well if the last group is any indicator.
Answer: Pretty Girl/Guy Paper (I hope your personal preferences don't include zombies.)

Week's winners: Artemis251, Picky, Elobo, Captian Bozo, EnnuiKing, and Strawberry Tofu.

Week's theme: Music! Please note: This week's questions draw from more than one of the Mother series!

Question 1: This fellow would seem to be an aficionado of the arts -- frequenting the museum and theatre. He'd also probably be interested in last week's infamous invention, considering how nuts he is over a certain someone.

Answer: Mr. Spoon

Question 2: George Harrison and Beck's little friends make an appearance with this (mini?)-boss who's quite green about being crammed into the attic over another of his kind.

Answer: Jealous Bass (with the Sobbing Guitar and Broken Drum)

Question 3:
____ _ ______,
Simple as can be,
Give it some words,
___ _____ _______.
What is this, and what are the blanks?

Answer: Lyrics to the Mother 1 Melody -- Take a melody ... and sweet harmony.

Bonus: (Only for bragging rights, no credit awarded.) In what key are the Mother 3 battle themes generally written, and why?

(Short) Answer: The instruments that sound for combo hits only play in one scale, the C scale, and so the songs all revolve around that key to avoid dissonance. EnnuiKing and BlueDrago gave good answers for this one; well done fellas.

(Long) Answer:

Question 1: One of very few tunes shared across the entire Mother series, this one will always run through my head when the weather turns blustery and the snow settles in.

Answer: Snowman/Winters White

Question 2: Zealously zap this foe and you'll be sorry -- he'll enrage and land your party in a world of hurt.

Answer: Steel Mechorilla

Question 3: I'll be snuggling up in one of these, which should cut the damage from very cold attacks down to 1/5, even if it won't keep me a whole lot safer from physical attacks.

Answer: Warm Sweater

Theme: "Location, Location, Location"

Question 1: This place is home to reptiles, amphibians, and a certain trick question you'll need to "answer" that might stump players without their guides. (The town next door does hold the answer, though.)

Answer: Grapefruit Falls

Question 2: Come here early and you won't find anything interesting; save a haunting remix of a Beatles tune.

Answer: Cave to the Past (in the present), or The Cliff that Time Forgot, or anything similar was accepted. Also yes, I suppose it really should be "Come here late and you won't find anything interesting...".

Question 3: The Mother series seems to think that the speed limit here is 60mph, and unless you're James Bond or a pregnant woman, you probably won't get away with speeding.

Answer: Jersey Turnpike, Ness's purchasable house in Onett, the Chimera Lab, or the magazine contained in these places were all acceptable answers.

Theme: "Giving Thanks". Note: this week's question set draws from more than one game in the series!

Question 1: This kindly "enemy" can conjure up a refreshing wind, and will politely leave after a few rounds of "combat".

Answer:Walking Bushie

Question 2: "Hello, I must be going." He's glad he came, and you will be too after just a round or two of "combat" with this foe.

Answer:Groucho

Question 3: With an explosive attitude and nasty allies, this blessing in disguise can actually heal your allies completely, so long as one of your party members is clever.

Answer:Atomic or Nuclear Power Robots

Theme: Tales From Around the World! This week, we have three mystery places, and it's your job to determine what each of them are!

Tale 1: I began my travels, leaving my home in Mystery 1. Mystery 3 was a ways off the beaten path, but thankfully, a kind fellow offered me refreshments on the way out there.

Tale 2: After visiting with the natives for a bit (they're so generous and kind) at Mystery 3, I used a bit of PSI to get myself over to Mystery 2, since there really isn't a better way for me to get there. I toured the sights, though there wasn't a whole lot for me to see. I also picked up a curious little coin as a souvenir, that is remarkably quiet even when dropped or thrown.

Tale 3: After waiting around for a week or two at Mystery 2to see if anything might poke its head out, I then went back to Mystery 1. To my surprise, there wasn't a soul to be seen in the streets! When the morning comes, I'll have to ask what I must've missed for everyone to have locked themselves in for the night.

Mystery 1: Threed or Onett were acceptable answers.

Mystery 2: Winters

Mystery 3: Saturn Valley

Theme: "All the Things She Said." Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to name the character behind the quote, and fill in any blanks if present. Your quotes need not be absolutely perfect, but should match closely in content and intent.

Quote 1: "Oh, it's my line now? Ooops!"

Quote 2: "After all, __ _____ ____ ____ ___ ____ ____, and you got that for free!"

Quote 3: "The statue called Mani Mani or something or other was stolen from the ____-_______ _________. Do you have any clues for me?"

Answer 1: Tracy

Answer 2: "It could only cost you your life" -- The captain in Toto.

Answer 3: "Happy-Happyism Headquarters" -- The detective from Twoson, who is supposed to be in Threed but is missing due to a bug.