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Mr. Fork - by MikeTheEBGuru

Mr. Fork

"...hope the rain will wash away our bad luck."

I don't usually enlist the help of song lyrics to get a point across, but it's always interesting to see what benefits too much U2 can bring. However, like usual, the April showers will bring the May flowers. Also, E3 will come, and we'll once again get snubbed from an EarthBound sequel. They call me Mr. Fork, but you can call me Mr. Advocate; Mr. Devil's Advocate. That's right. This is my pessimistic stance on the recent rumors of potentially seeing EarthBound again. I'll be thrashing various sites, gamers, and companies, but this is done with the best of intentions, and this doesn't reflect my personal views by any means. Enjoy, and be willing to accept the recent rumors with a grain of salt, but I'm sure you grizzled folks already knew that by now.

Fanboyistic hogwash. Eternally debunked pipedreams. Any new EarthBound sequels just wouldn't be logical, gang. We all know it, but we're all afraid to realize. Our ship has sailed, everyone has moved on, and we're left with nothing but semi-respectable sites throwing us the occasional bone, and those self-serving brainchildren at EGM looking for a potential scoop by throwing out the occasional internet rumor. We look like fools by getting torn up everytime a rumor is proven false, and I urge everyone to stop drooling over this sketchy junkage. We don't need it. We've waited the better part of a decade to land something. Anything. It's time to realize that EarthBound isn't exactly Nintendo's cash cow, it'll never be, and failure to realize this does nothing but show the callous, idealistic nature that exhibits our igorance about the media and gaming industry.

It'd be foolish to think an EarthBound sequel for the Gamecube could ever be "the right game at the right time". I urge you to look at Animal Crossing. This game was a fairly high priority game when it was brought to the North American market, and it even enjoyed some good success for awhile. However, wasn't a "system seller". For one reason or another, I see plenty of ignorant people out there that think EarthBound will help Nintendo in any sort of competition between Sony and Mircrosoft. That's not the case, gang. It took a long time for Rygar fans to see a sequel, but I don't think you could point to it alone for the Playstation 2's success. Next to the people that bought a Gamecube for an EarthBound sequel, this is really the most painfully frightening thing I see in our collective stance. For further proof, take a gander at us. The majority of us have changed our gaming tastes. While this doesn't apply to me in any way, shape, or form, there are many more multi-console gamers among us, and there is even a crew that wouldn't give a new Nintendo console a chance. Yet, for one reason or another, they find nothing wrong on being mum about the issue of a potential new EarthBound release, and they simply go on their merry own way as if they were oblivious to the very game and company that got them here. Why would Nintendo (you gotta love me saying 'Nintendo' as if it were one entity) want to do this crew any favors?

Lest us not forget the last time an EarthBound game was released. It was easily one of the most silent Nintendo releases I had ever experienced. Sure there was plenty of magazine advertising, but for a modern-themed game, it made no attempt to aggressively market to any television or non-gaming mag audience. Think hard. There was a huge market for SNES RPGs then, and it still didn't cut the mustard. Point to rival Square games all you want, but good games make it unless the public simply doesn't know about them. When I look at a modern example, I look at Eternal Darkness. This game featured a decent television campaign, and it even had plenty of ads in older mags that had nothing to do with gaming in slightest. It even came months off of Capcom's big Resident Evil remake release (say that five times fast). I still don't believe it did enough because of the downright bland marketing. Why, one could even make the assumption that saying "This game stinks." would've covered more bases in terms of capturing the masses.

That's right, the masses. The people that doomed EarthBound in the first place. Nintendo knows this, and we should realize that it'd be better to develop with the mass market in mind. Basically, Hal could generate more buzz with another Super Smash Bros. sequel or a completely new franchise or title. If it was such as success in Japan, give the N64 version an Animal Crossing esque revamp, and reap the benefits of a Japan-only market via the means of small distribution. They wouldn't have to worry about the fickle North American market (Pokemon games are still highly successful there), they'd have an audience that'd be willing to give the title a try, and it could be a litmus test for a potential North American release if you're that optimistic, but this isn't about that. Not at all. Recently, in my Psychology class, we had our own little version of show and tell. While me bringing Madden 2003 got the mainstreamer peers to discuss the game somewhat, it was a kid that brought Grand Theft Auto: Vice City that sparked the most discussion; even my teacher was caught in the act. The game generated its own publicity. Can you honestly see plausable scenario in which an EarthBound sequel does the same? I don't. I can understand there are plenty of successful titles around that don't capture the mainstream attention, and we all know stacking up to GTA 3/VC's popularity would be asking a bit much, but when you also consider the new focus on changing the "core" franchise games, it wouldn't make sense to continue development on a cult classic franchise when you've got the potential to make another Super Smash Bros. even more solid than the first two incarnations.

Maybe I'm looking into this a bit much. Perhaps this tangent went a little far, but we've got to maintain some perspective on the matter. Sure, we've been waiting a long time, but we can't mistake these rumors as some sort of glimmer of hope. Nothing but a mirage; I tell you. Don't believe it until you see it; in person. EarthBound 64 taught 64DD enthusiasts like me a lesson. It taught us all one. Pin your hopes on something and you're bound to be setting yourself up for disappointment at some point. Because of that, I, Mr. Fork, will continue disbelieving. Prove me wrong.


Other Submissions by MikeTheEBGuru

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MikeTheEBGuru Confessions of a Dangerous, but Stable Mind
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MikeTheEBGuru Earthbound: best rpg ever?
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MikeTheEBGuru Everdred, PI: Part 1
A few years after the War Against Giygas, Everdred begins a new life as a private investigator. His first case leads him and his partner Shaft to Onett, where Everdred's old friend Ness reports crime is back on the rise.
3/26/05 0.00
MikeTheEBGuru Everdred, PI: Part 2
Everdred returns to Twoson, this time without a partner. And my how things have changed. Orange Kid is MIA, but Dred is on the case.
3/26/05 0.00
MikeTheEBGuru Everdred, PI: Part 3
In Everdred's wackiest case yet, the PI and his new partner, Mr. T, take a trip to Winters to hunt down one Mrs. Andonuts.
3/26/05 0.00

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