Cops Beat Up Ness- Theory
In the game Earthbound, players may wonder why Captain Strong and his cops took Ness to the back of the station to beat him up. The answer is quite complicated.
It all began on the night the meteorite landed on top of the hill at Onett. The cops had set up roadblocks for one sole reason.
Ness talked to the cop about the roadblock, and the cops said, “We’re going for the world record!”
When Ness left the scene, the cops became VERY suspicious. They hid inside the tree next to the meteorite waiting for Ness to return. The first thing that happened was Picky Minch walking up the way.
“MAYDAY!” screamed Captain Strong, and tranquilized him before he realized what was happening. Embarrassed, Strong laid Picky on the other side of the tree, and climbed back in.
Eventually Ness returned with some chubby kid. They walked over to Picky and shook him awake (a cop nearly sneezed, and almost blew their cover). Suddenly, a beam of light shot down on the meteorite, and what was CLEARLY a robotic spy drone appeared. They chatted for a bit and went down the way, and one of cops broke into hysterics: “SPY! SPPPPPYYYY!!! THEY WANT THE DEMISE OF EAGLELAND!!!!!”
Later, the cops were just walking around, setting up roadblocks, when Strong peeped over the fence behind the arcade. That same boy was knocking some sense into Onett’s most wanted, Frank Fly! It was clear to Captain Strong what was going on.
“He’s leading a rebellion,” he said to the other cops. “He’s going to gain the support of the citizens for beating up Frank, and using his spy drones, he’ll take over Onett, and probably even BANISH MAYOR PIRKLE.”
It wasn’t until the cops saw him inside a NO TRESPASSING area known as Giant Step that they decided to beat him senseless and end Ness’s dirty deeds.
The trap was set. The cops had told Ness to come to the police station. Then, they would take him to the back, beat the daylights out of him, and throw him in his brand-new jail cell.
Captain Strong walked Ness to the back of the station, and ordered his five finest cops. “We’ll end this rebellious spy child once and for all.”
The cops were blasted with psychic energy and beaten half to death with a baseball bat, the cops backed off.
And sure enough, a while later, the aliens and evil creatures that Ness had surely ordered from the spy drone took over Onett and forced everyone to stay indoors.
The cops knew this was all Ness’s fault.
In the game Earthbound, players may wonder why Captain Strong and his cops took Ness to the back of the station to beat him up. The answer is quite complicated.
It all began on the night the meteorite landed on top of the hill at Onett. The cops had set up roadblocks for one sole reason.
Ness talked to the cop about the roadblock, and the cops said, “We’re going for the world record!”
When Ness left the scene, the cops became VERY suspicious. They hid inside the tree next to the meteorite waiting for Ness to return. The first thing that happened was Picky Minch walking up the way.
“MAYDAY!” screamed Captain Strong, and tranquilized him before he realized what was happening. Embarrassed, Strong laid Picky on the other side of the tree, and climbed back in.
Eventually Ness returned with some chubby kid. They walked over to Picky and shook him awake (a cop nearly sneezed, and almost blew their cover). Suddenly, a beam of light shot down on the meteorite, and what was CLEARLY a robotic spy drone appeared. They chatted for a bit and went down the way, and one of cops broke into hysterics: “SPY! SPPPPPYYYY!!! THEY WANT THE DEMISE OF EAGLELAND!!!!!”
Later, the cops were just walking around, setting up roadblocks, when Strong peeped over the fence behind the arcade. That same boy was knocking some sense into Onett’s most wanted, Frank Fly! It was clear to Captain Strong what was going on.
“He’s leading a rebellion,” he said to the other cops. “He’s going to gain the support of the citizens for beating up Frank, and using his spy drones, he’ll take over Onett, and probably even BANISH MAYOR PIRKLE.”
It wasn’t until the cops saw him inside a NO TRESPASSING area known as Giant Step that they decided to beat him senseless and end Ness’s dirty deeds.
The trap was set. The cops had told Ness to come to the police station. Then, they would take him to the back, beat the daylights out of him, and throw him in his brand-new jail cell.
Captain Strong walked Ness to the back of the station, and ordered his five finest cops. “We’ll end this rebellious spy child once and for all.”
The cops were blasted with psychic energy and beaten half to death with a baseball bat, the cops backed off.
And sure enough, a while later, the aliens and evil creatures that Ness had surely ordered from the spy drone took over Onett and forced everyone to stay indoors.
The cops knew this was all Ness’s fault.
