Theories Topic for the Week of June 6-13, 2012:

Why is Dr. Andonuts helping Porky in Mother 3?

Theory of the Week:

*Yaaawwwwwwnn* hmm, man, my captivity kept me away for so long. Curse you ice cream man and your frozen treats. But, I have recovered from hibernation, and feel it my duty to return to theorizing. And thus, cue intro.

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This weeks question, why would Dr. Andonuts help a despicable person like Porky? Well...he had no choice.

You see, it all started back in Winters. Dr. Andonuts was enojoying his meal of beef jerky and donuts when he realized he was upon short supplies of donuts. So he decided to take a trip to the nearby Krispy Kreme. Only upon his arrival, he fell to his knees yelling a loud "NOOOOOOOOO!" Upon being seen by a former worker, he asked why his doughed nirvana would close. The answer...was kinda obvious. A high industrious shop like it had such low business considering the only buyers were school teachers, Tessie watchers, and...him. And since the Tessie watchers left after sighting the beast, the shop closed down and the manager moved to a more industrious place filled with cops (currently been seen in Onett)

Andonuts, was in a panic. He feared what would happen if he finished his last dozen of donuts. The next day though, his pet caveman finished 11 of the 12, leaving the doctor with a mere 1 donut. He breathed heavily, panicked, and then, thought of a plan. He'd clone it. But just as he prepared his cloning water, it vanished with a note.

"Yew will help me in mai evel plot, or youll nevah see ur donut agayn. Sign, Anonomys. AKA, Porky. AKAKA Pokey Minch."

At first, he questioned who this was. Then...his penmanship and grammar. But more importantly, he had to get his donut back, at any cost! So he jumped into his nearest time machine, and vanished to the future, where he was made a slave, just to rescue the donut he loved.

Will he rescue his donut?! Will he be forced to be a slave his whole life?! Will he be forced to give Porky a sponge bath?!

Well, those answers *urp* remain a mystery, for after *belllch* Porky's defeat, Andonuts vanished, and *hic* his donut along with him.

"Did you like the fried dough my theorizing friend?"

"U-umm, Ando, kinda finishing a theory here"

"Ah, yes yes, go ahead and finish, I got plenty more to share"

Ahem, as I was, the answers remain a mystery.

And thus, another question is left to burn in a deep fried flame. This is PheenX saying...CURSE YOU ICE CREAM MAAAAAAAAAAAN!


A Donut Downfall:

Dr. Andonuts was a very distinguished man. He was well know throughout Winters; he had several certificates for winning science contests and other such things. “Best Laser Toaster”, “Best Milk Flavor Enhancer”, and “Most Moronic” were some of the framed certificates on his wall.

Dr. Andonuts had taste in science, but he definitely had a sweet tooth for his two favorite foods: red bean paste, or “anki”, filled donuts. When he wasn’t building absurd contraptions, he was eating those donuts. He wrote papers on whether the word was spelled “donuts” or “doughnuts”. He promoted the 30-day doughnut diet, and donated several thousand dollars to the ‘Donut Daily’ magazine.

It should be no surprise that when Dr. Andonuts saw a doughnut laying in front of the doorway that he would try to snatch it.

“Ooga-booga,” warned his assistant, Big Foot. He was, simply put, a caveman.

“Aw, pipe down, you big, hairy, whatnot,” Dr. Andonuts proclaimed, and jumped at the doughnut, screaming “Yahah!”

He snatched the doughnut and bit down, almost shattering his teeth in the process!”

“It’s stale! It’s super STALE!” screamed Andonuts, still latched on to the doughnut. “Well, no matter, I’ll just go put it in my De-Stale Machine real quick…” He suddenly noticed the string tied to the doughnut and gasped. “Waaa…?”

Dr. Andonuts and the doughnut were tugged out the door. Big Foot reverted to Super-Primitive mode and began shouting like a howler monkey. He clubbed down the wall in fury. “BOOGA?” He called for Dr. Andonuts.

“I’m right here, you fleabag,” he responded. “Way to use the door.” Dr. Andonuts was still holding the doughnut. “I bit the string off.”

What the slightly stupid duo didn’t realize was a enormous grey metal ship with a pig snout floating above them. They also didn’t notice the tranquilizer darts pierce their skin and send them deep into sleep.

Dr. Andonuts woke up screaming. “YA-HA-HAH! WHERE AM I!?!”

He noticed a chubby boy standing in front of him. Oddly, he was beginning to wrinkle, like and elderly man.

“Hello, fat boy. I’d best be on my…”

“Dr. Andonuts. First off, your son Jeff is a real idiot. Second, you are know my slave. Understood?”

Andonuts sighed. “As long as I get donuts…”

“Resisting capture, then? Alright, battle intiated… wait, you’re not gonna put a fight, ya geezer?”

He was sound asleep with a donut stuck in his mouth.


Melting is Not a Pleasant Experience:

With Porky trapped in the Absolutely Safe Capsule, Dr. Andonuts finally muttered, “Free at last.” The group of 4 heroes wondered and Kumatora finally broke the ice and asked, “Why are you so happy? Did Porky force you to work as a slave?” “The last 3 years of my life have been harsh and unforgiving. For you to get this, I need to tell you the story from the beginning.”
Following Giyig’s defeat, Porky escaped the scene in his Phase Distorter. After discovering the Nowhere Islands, he decides that this place was rather boring, and begins to turn the place into his toybox of insanity. Of course, he needed help to do this. Before he actually started building an army, Porky recruited the help of forced Dr. Andonuts to work for him. “Get in the machine or I will melt you into oblivion!” Porky ordered and Dr. Andonuts complied. They were wooshed to the islands. Andonuts got to work immediately developing new ideas, one of which caught Porky’s attention.
“What is that?” Porky questioned, getting a response from Andontus of “It’s a chimera. It’s created by mashing 2 existing animals together or by combining an animal with robotic parts.” The interesting idea instantly intrigued Porky and he ordered Andonuts to begin making multiple models of chimeras. Now that that was done, Porky needed a way of getting propaganda to the citizens of Tazmily Village. But before that happened, a Mecha-Drago that Dr. Andonuts created attacked the family of Flint and Hinawa, killing the wife and frightening the children Lucas and Claus. Flint and Alec, the dad of Hinawa, went and defeated the Mecha-Drago. However, Claus, who earlier tried to kill the Drago, was lost.
Porky enlisted the help of Fassad to spread propaganda to Tazmily Village. To calm the villagers down, Andonuts developed Happy Boxes: TV-esque devices used to calm the people. Most people did not buy in at the beginning of the craze, but in 3 years’ time, almost every house has one. Dr. Andonuts developed the machinery used by the Pigmasks and started developing new species of chimeras. Porky’s mind imagines the freakish monsters, while the doctor mass produces them.
Once Lucas and friends started his journey to defeat Porky and save the world, Porky demanded that newer and even more difficult monsters would be produced. “I’m being overworked. I need to rest!” Dr. Andonuts replied. “*cough* There is no time for rest. Now finish developing the secret weapon, *wheeze* before doing anything else,” demanded Porky before walking off. “Yes, sir,” the doctor muttered. What Dr. Andonuts didn’t realize is that Porky tricked him into developing the Absolutely Safe Capsule, but he developed it with a fallback trap mechanism: once you go in, there’s no turning back.
The Thunder Tower was destroying houses without the boxes, so Lucas and co. took it out. Fassad fell from it and so Dr. Andonuts took him and redeveloped him as a chimera, and unleashed him on Lucas and his friends. In the same time, the Masked Man began his march towards pulling the Needles and now Lucas needed to stop the Pigmasks! Porky did not want this to happen, so he made the Ultimate Chimera, a ruthless killing machine hellbent on destroying all in its path. Fassad was soon defeated and then received an upgrade to make him even stronger.
Eventually Lucas and his friends made it to New Pork City, in a race vs. the Masked Man for the final Needle. Porky pulled out all the stops and unleashed the strongest of the army, including Miracle Fassad. Finally, once Lucas and co. made it to the top of the Empire Porky Building, a fleet of 10 of the hundreds of PORKY-Bots that Andonuts created attacked the group. Once the Runaway Five came in and helped with the battle, Porky dropped the group plus Flint into the deep mines below the city. The final battle was about to begin.
“That’s how we all got here,” the doctor finished his tale off with. Kumatora now wondered, “So now we have to destroy your creation and save the world?” “Well you don’t have to destroy Lucas’ brother the Masked Man, but merely defeat him so you can save the world,” Andonuts gave has his last word. “Save the world. For me! For us!”


How Offensive:

I yawned and sipped my coffee as I skimmed over the papers, the font small but the text aplenty. I scratched the leftover donut off the fuzz above my lip and stared intently at the words, flipping through many pages of the same thesis. The night hours seemed to pass rather quickly and before I knew it, dawn had approached. As I heard the early chirps of the morning's bird, I set the papers down, took off my glasses and cleaned the lens against my white coat. I licked the tip of my ball-point pen and signed the bottom of the last paper with my signature. It was ready for publication.

Taking the last sip in the mug, I groaned and streched once more, ready for bed. A scientist's hours were unpredictable and I had to make due with what I had. I could hear a light breathing from up the stairs as my son slept. It was early, so I had to be quiet. As I gathered the paperwork and filed it appropriately, an immense banging sound echoed throughout the lab. The door to the winter wonderland had been knocked down and this door was made of solid steel. A short figure loomed before the light from the outside. I heard a deep snort and a laughter that rang through the drums of my ears. I heard their heavy footsteps bounce off the wall and I gapsed as they came into view. A boy, short and round, appeared before me, with a head of blonde shaggy hair and a fine tailored suit. He grinned as he looked behind the glasses and a shiver swept down my back. He licked his teeth and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

"Doctor Andonuts, I pressume?" he asked, taking a step closer. I eyed him and scanning his appearance, I knew it would be best not to associate with him.

"What is it that you want?"I asked, but the boy started to laugh, a deep roar escaping from his throat.

"Well Doc, I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me."


"To make things short and sweet, you're going to come with me and be my personal assistant from this point on."

Blinking my eyes, I cocked my head, "What are you talking about boy?" His eyes sparked with a newly lit bright flame and he smiled menacingly.

"I have some plans for the future ahead. Some brilliant plans... The problem is, I need your super smart brain you have to continue these plans out. I need you." My mouth gaped open and I took a step back. I took a deep gulp and a drop of sweat trickled down my brow.

"You're that boy, aren't you? That boy from a year ago... You're the one who was working with that embodiment of evil, Giygas." His smile only grew wider and he peered at me with sharp eyes.

"So, you finally get it," he said, taking a step closer. "Listen Doc, before you try to refuse my offer, I'll let you in on the consequences. If you don't agree and come with me, I'll get your kid involved." I stood still, frozen in fear. "That's right, Doc. Four-eyes will be in danger if your refuse."

"His name is Jeff," I growled.

"Oh, someone is offended!" He giggled, taking another step closer. "I just didn't think a loser like him would be enough to offend the great Doctor Andonuts!"

I bowed my head, "Jeff is my son and he is the only family I have. Though at times, he may wet his bed and have nightmares, I love him. I realize that all the years I neglected him were wasted and I would never put him in danger again. He is a brilliant boy and I love him." I sighed as I finished, a small tear forming from the corner of my eye. I looked at the boy to see his reaction, but instead of sympathy, he burst into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, that's a hoot!" he blared, wiping tears from his eyes."I knew he was a low-life, but this is just great! What a loser!"

"Leave him out of this!" I yelled in fury. He stopped abruptly and glared at me. His smirk turned into a frown and his eyes turned cold.

"Doc, if you don't come with me and listen to my every request, I'll be sure to make your son punish for your faults. Let's just say I have the resources to get away with it," he cocked his head up and his eyes gleamed sharply. "Don't you ever get snippy with me again. Got it?" I looked at him and frowned.

"Fine. I'll work with you." I peered and him and looked down in shame.

"Smart thinking, Doc. Let's go."


"Yes, now. We leave now."

With teary eyes, I looked up the stairs and heard his light snores, "Goodbye, Jeff... Goodbye, my son..." I took off my glasses and with tears dripping from my red swollen eyes down my chin, I took one last look, and joined him.

"Smart thinking, Doc. We have a big future planned ahead. You're going to be part of a whole new world."

We walked out of the lab and I whispered softly under my breath, "I love you, Son. I love you, Jeff."




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