News:

Theories topic for the week of July 11 - July 18, 2012:

What really lies behind the Onett restrooms? There doesn't seem to be any way of getting in there... or is there?


Theory of the Week:

The man hustled for the bathroom. He had to get to that bathroom is less than one minute. But he did not have diarrhea, a bubbling bladder, or other disgusting bathroom needs.
The man flung the door open. When it was shut, he glanced at the door. A combination lock, a key lock, a deadbolt, and a fingerprint scanner lock were on the door. He locked them all.
The Starman took of his human costume and entered the stall. A toilet sat there waiting for him.
“Giygas, I hate you, *whirr* so much, you and your *click* sick sense of humor.” The toilet was overflown with some pesky human’s business. The Starman reluctantly stood in the toilet and flushed. And down he went. The Starman swirled down into the pipes of the toilet. As everyone knows, there are three traits that Starmen have. They run on Windows Vista, they are afraid of Fobbies, and they are very flexible. So the Starman slid down the pipes easily, but he was very disgusted.
The pipe split into two paths. One was labeled “Excrement”. The other was labeled “Giygas’ Secret Lair- No Turds Allowed.” The Starman went towards the “Giygas’ Secret Lair” path. A large gate, however, blocked the path.
“Facial recognition software starting up.”
“Oh, crap!” the Starman shouted. His face was covered in sewage. He raced like mad to wipe it off. But it was too late! The camera snapped a picture.
“Turd recognized. Expelling in three seconds.”
“NO! WAIT! *WHIRR* IT’S ME!”
The Starman was catapulted down the “Excrement Pipe”.

The Starman woke up hours later. A humongous rat was sniffing at him.
“So, what are you in for?”
“Well, it all started when I was delivering duct tape to Master Giygas… he was going to block off the entrance to the Cave of the Past with it…
In summary, if it hadn’t been for Giygas’ poor choice in lair entrances, he would have won the war against Ness.
The moral of this story is not to side with evil, or you're crap.

- Ostricho


And if you throw 50 bombs into Ganon's lava pit, you can get the triforce :OOO :

This happened after a few weeks after Gyigas' fall.Tracy,King, Ness' Mother and Father leaved in a vacantion in Winters and left Ness behind because he dislikes Winters.Ness woke up and wanted to go to the restroom in his house.But,when he reached the restroom the door was locked because Tracy accidentaly took it instead of the key to the house.Ness has thought to go in Onett to see if anybody wants to help him.But all the citizens said Porky came in their houses and,for some weird reason, he destroyed all the restrooms with a strange weapon.After 5 minutes he found out Porky haven't destroyed the restrooms from the library.He went there and a guy was faster than him and entered faster in the restroom. After the guy has left the restroom,Ness tired to enter the restroom but the door was locked.When he turned back he heard a pretty creppy sound and it even scared Ness himself!He didn't knew what to do so he went to Hint Man's house and asked for a hint.The hint man wanted 500 dollars.Ness gave the money to the Hint Man.He told Ness a story about a guy called William Andonuts,Jeff's great grandfather which died in the restroom and William cursed the restroom and only a person who is possesed by a Mini Ghost can enter. Ness knew what to do: teleport to Threed and let a Zombie Possesor call a Mini Ghost to posses him,but he knew Ness' body will do as the Mini Ghost.Ness went to a "friend" of his dressed all in black who sells mysterious stuff.The mysterious guy gave our hero a "Gyigas Remain" which is able to control even Mini Ghosts.Ness got it for 200 dollars. He went to Threed,let a Zombie Possesor call a Mini Ghost,bbut when it appeared Ness used the Gyigas Remain and it did a pale red light and even the Mini Ghost who controlls our hero is now possesed by Ness' mind for some reason.Afterwards the Gyigas Remain disappeared.Our brave man went at the library and,finnaly entered the restroom but he was very surprised when he saw what is there - a small radio-like thing who says random quotes.
Then,Ness saw a letter at his feet.Ness read it.This is what is wrriten on the letter "Hahahahaha this is the real hint: there is nothing in this restroom but a radio-like thing and also I want to tell you hehe you are hehe blocked here forever because we locked you in this restroom and your PSI is not working here hehehehe *cough* *cough*. -Porky and the Hint Man-"
Ness found out he must spend his life in this restroom without any food or cold drinks and he will probalby die in two weeks,max.
From now on,Ness was never seen anymore and no one truly knew where our brave hero went,save Porky and the Evil Hint Man!

-Shadow542


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