Theories topic for the week of March 14 - March 21, 2012:

Frank is the head of the local Onett gang, the Sharks. But he also owns his own attack robot! How is this possible? Did he build it or find it or something entirely different?

Theory of the Week:

Frank is a gang leader with a troubled past. He has no mother, and most importantly, no father. This caused many problems. Without a father, Frank had no way to save his game, and had to make money selling burgers from trash cans... Obviously, his gang members saw this is a problem; what if the power shut off? All the terrorizing of Onett's citizens of that day would be GONE. KAPUT. Wouldn't that be just awful...? So, the more tech-y members of the gang offered a solution!

Frankystein Mark 0.95, the prototype, was built out of a tin can, and programmed with a voice that sounds suspiciously like Microsoft Sam. (But, it wasn't really Microsoft Sam, since Frank was smart about legal issues that may arise. It might be trademarked or something.) His gang programmed the robot with phrases such as, "I have added INSERT AMOUNT HERE dollars to your account," or "Just like your mom, you never want to stop." When Frank was presented the completed product, he was ecstatic! However, he realized the possible "in-your-endo" or whatever it's called that may arise from some of these lines, and programmed the next version of the robot with the power of common sense.

Frankystein Mark 1 allowed Frank to finally save his game. This new version would also provide supportive input and phrases when Frank or his gang was scared. One day, when Ness' mother and father were driving him to school, Ness' father crashed his car into the robot, and in the confusion and with the robot's very lifelike and non-robotic voice, Ness' family didn't notice that his father and the robot had become switched! As for Ness' father, he was glad to finally be free, and agreed to replace the robot for Frank because he had finally gained freedom from the trials of being a supporting figure in a household with children and dogs eating him out of house and home.

Frank agreed to these terms, and thus, Frankystein Mark 2 was built, with the intention of also serving the bodyguard role for Frank. This fits into the story perfectly... except for one thing. Where did Frankystein Mark 1 get all the money to send to his new son?

Being a robot, Frankystein 1 could make very advanced calculations, such as two plus negative negative two. This allowed it to lockpick masterfully, and banks all around Eagleland forever have their banks drained due to this master-thief father.

- BB Gang Zombie

Wedgiebot 9000:

Frank leader of Sharks wasn't always the handsome shark haired stud he is now. It may be hard to believe but Frank was once a nerd at Harvard's lesser known branch of robotics. There he worked with fellow nerds to create the ultimate robot. Franky being the wise guy he is, programed what he called Frankystien to give atomic wedgies to the other nerds and so it did. Franky was threaded to be expelled if he were to try it again. Franky didnt want to be expelled so he worked hard on the next robot. When the new robot powered up he called himself Frankystien II and started to insulted the nerd mother and they began to cry. Franky was expelled on the spot and as he look at the school he shook his fist saying he make a even better robot called Frankystien III that throw punches at them like there was no tomorrow and he went back to his home town Onett to start his new diabolical nerd punching machine...

- Stardood

A lone wolf with everything to prove. Also he's not very alone:

Believe it or not, there are plenty of misconceptions surrounding Frank Fly, the boss of the local Onett gang known as the Sharks. He is the victim of cruel and unfair prejudice, being marked as nothing more than a nasty gang leader and a thug. This theory will hopefully set the record straight:

When he’s not hanging out at the arcade or burger shop with his friends, Frank spends his free time in the Onett library, reading his favorite magazine, Popular Mechanics. Frank’s dream is to become a famous inventor, so he spent days planning and searching for materials in order to make his robot, which he named “Frankystein,” which he formed out of his astounding mechanical prowess. Frank’s creation was designed to be a fail-proof fighting machine, hence why he named it after himself and modeled its face after his own. He knew that no one would dare challenge him, especially when he was supported by his super-strong contraption…

Unfortunately, Frankystein had a bit of a technical meltdown while Frank was testing its “super-strength” in the (now destroyed) Entertainers’ shack, which led to the construction of the Frankystein Mark II. Frank spent all night trying to repair his beloved creation, which caused his coffee-fueled mind to go a little crazy. Once he finally completed his reconstructed mechanism, Frank shouted at the top of his lungs, that which could be heard all throughout Onett that night:



Pheen-X and Amp: SuperStar Saga in: Gangman Roboto:

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X (and Amp) tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This week's question, Why the heck does a gang boss like Franky have a tank for his buisiness? Well, it was upon this question, Amp was able to show his specialty. Since he's spent his life out on the field, he knows many of the enemies we've faced before, and he's willing to give the dirt, so I left this one to him...partially.

"thanks kid. Now, Franky certainly was one...interesting person. Constantly drawing kids in with pizza, hula hoops and arcade tokens. Well, funny thing is, the arcade was actually inhabited with the evil temptation of Giygas for the longest part, drawin the kids to take you down on arrival."

But that's another story Amp

"Keep your shirt on, I know, I'm getting to the topic. Ah-hem, any way, onto Franky. Now, have you ever truly put to thought what the MK. II meant? At first they tried to make some weird anagram out of it, but the first prototype of the mech...kinda...sorta, had technical difficulties"

You mean like screwed up wires or a lose socket?

"No, no...spilled coffee."


"I swear, they must not of known that kids actually drink that stuff to, I mean, it's so temptin and flavorful and keeps those little-"

Amp! You're goin off topic again!

"huh, oh yea, yea, where was I. Well, after the first exploded, they had to rebuild a new one. This proved difficult because the first was truly huge, with multiple weapons and armor and missles, so it was a pain to replace. Mainly because most of the metal used was that that was also held within common arcade tokens...that were being held onto by Franky's they had to go with the next best thing."

What? Steel, platinum, gold, iron, stufasatorium?

"Uhhh, close...I think, I don't even know what that iron stuff is."

Well what is it?!

"Okay, you know how most arcades have those lazy, easily destroyed, cheapo toys right?"

Uh ya, most that I've been to, but I didn't see any in Onett's arcade.

"Exactly! They had to mix up the cheapo toys in a major mash and jumble, soon making...a mess. Something was still off and they needed one more piece to get the MK. II in action. And funny how the last piece was just outside the arcade."

Okay, since you've pretty much gave a weak answer to all my questions, I'm guessing this last piece was like a, uh, fire hydrant or something.

"Oh, you know the design too? Well, this hydrant proved to have special qualities from being near a building with Giy-"

Okay stop there, I don't want the details around a red metal thing that just sits on the corner of a street, only to be used as a dogs bathroom, just go on

"fine fine, well, once the hydrant was attached, it all came together, making a...tank with fists and that weird grin. The arcade had some pretty messed up toys. Now this tank was originally meant to be a way bigger boss fight later in the game, but that was MK. I, so that didn't happen. And, well, this tank looked so pathetic, the big guy didn't even want to use it on his side, so he just dumped it in Onett's dump...or the back of the arcade, same thing. Franky soon came across it, and had the gut feeling that it'd help if he got in a fight, which he did. He learned his lesson on mechanics that same day, and how...bad they can be.

and thus is the story of the MK. II. Got anymore questions kid?"

Nope, sums it up pretty good, not bad for your first job.

"You kiddin kid, sooner or later I'm puttin you out of business"

Haha, very funny. And thus, another question is left to light that interesting barrel fire being lit for the hobo's down in the alley. So this is PheenX (and Amp!), saying, stay in arcades kids.

- firej7

Rabid Dog's Robot Battle Epic:

Since the dawn of time, man has dreamed of having a subservient metal man to do his bidding. This dream has been passed down from generation to generation. History is filled with examples. The Statue of Liberty. (Technically a metal woman) The Iron Giant. (If you wish hard enough, he might be real.) Even DaVinci's very first artists rendition of a Renaissance Era "Go-Bot". History has served as a marking point in all of these great achievement towards the human dream.

Since the dawn of a few weeks ago, another bold step was taken by local Onett man, Francis "Frank Fly" Laird as he unveiled his automaton to the world. This is his "true" story.

Francis "Frank Fly" Laird was often bullied as a kid. This should be no surprise considering that in Onett, there isn't much to do for a town other than group around some blonde kid and kick the ever living crap out of him. He was constantly harassed by schoolmates, emergency response units, and on one unforgettable occasion, Mayor B.H. Pirkle, captured here in this photo at his mayoral inauguration.

[image pirklevsfly.jpg could not be found]

Frank was an introvert, a thinker, or as the rest of the town would put it, a "square". He spent much of his youth reading. Two topics piqued his youthful interest: robotics and sharks. Realizing that if he could somehow combine the two (and presumably graft it into his own body) his bullying problems would be over, he set to work. His early sketches depicted the aquatic automaton as a large cybernetic shark, capable of shooting what appear to be lasers from its eyes. Other design specifications for this early draft included, "Nuclear payload", "Crazy fast", and "Totally rad name".

And so, young Frank went to work collecting scrap metal from junkyards and downed flying saucers near Peaceful Rest Valley. He gathered computer parts from the local library. (Causing a computing error to show all withdrawn materials to show "200X" as their due date, in place of an actual date.) He was even able to salvage some small pieces of shoelace from the shoes of bullies as they kicked him on the ground.

Soon came the day that he finished his completion. The "Frankystein" was ready for action. As Frank called out all the neighborhood bullies to come and face him, the robot booted up with a large burst of steam. When the bullies gathered around to see this new contraption standing at four feet, two inches in the middle of the street, Frank initiated the battle protocol via a broomstick wedged in the back of the machine. Frank was quoted to say that he was, "Less than pleased" with the function of the robot. While Frank had heavily armored the construct, he'd forgotten to swap out any battle routines for the coffee maker currently running the CPU. After dispensing a mildly warm cup of coffee onto the ground, a beating commenced that Frank would never forget.

Hopes crushed, Frank ran home and cried into his bed for a few hours until his mother came to get him for dinner. After eating dinner, he began to feel better and realized that he didn't need to create a whole robot to take on every bully. He just had to out-bully the head honcho. The biggest bully in Onett at the time was William Furnace, the leader of the roving street gang known as "The Black Porpoises".

William Furnace AKA "Killer Flipper" had first started his vendetta against "the establishment" when the owner of "Fun-Land Arcade and Family Fun Emporium" asked him to leave on grounds of profanity and William replied with a cold, and totally wicked, "No." Several versions of this story have circulated with variations of what William replied, which included, "No way, Pops.", "You can't make me." and "Alright..." (The latter only told by the owner himself) This was the big cheese that Frank had determined to topple with his new and improved robot.

Frank realized that having an aquatic robot wouldn't serve him well on terra firma, so he redesigned the "Frankystein" with tank treads. The "Hyper-Caffeinated Ultra-Super-Burning Coffee Cup of Justice" attack was also eliminated in favor of the more practical "Sharpened Rake-Hands of Justice" arms that the new model was now fit with. The coffee machine remained intact in the design, but only to power the servos of the system and to give Frank refreshment mid-battle if needed. (This feature was later proved impossible to access with the new "Servo-Lux Hardtanium Barrel Armor" that the robot was outfitted with after his initial fight.)

Frank redesigned not only the "Frankystein" (now "Frankystein Mk. II") but himself as well, donning a leisure suit that his father had left behind when he had taken a "Business Trip" that had extended well into thirteen years as of this point. He decided that he would become the Shark that devoured the Porpoise, despite preliminary evidence showing that sharks and porpoises aren't natural enemies. He donned the nickname "Frank Fly" because it was quote, "Alliterative and undeniably B-A."

As he pulled his creation into town, the townspeople looked at it in awe. The sneer that was crudely painted on the "Uncrushable Top-Heavy Power Bucket" was topped only by Frank's. He marched into the arcade and demanded a showdown with "Killer Flipper". "Killer Flipper" never fought with the "Frankystein Mk. II". Upon seeing the sheer terror of it, William Furnace soiled himself and tore out of the arcade. The Black Porpoises' turf then fell to Frank Fly. He renamed the gang, "The Sharks" much to the relief of most of the gang members who openly admitted that "Porpoise is hard to spell".

To this very day, Frank Fly has been undefeated except for unsubstantiated rumors that a local boy with a baseball bat had scrapped the terrible death-machine that Frank had created. Current operation have settled down somewhat, and that is an undeniable fact. Some speculate that beating up the local with the baseball bat had started grating on his conscience. Realizing that he was becoming the bully that he hated most growing up, he has lessened his grip on the poor town, who's citizens only want to, "Create an open and free environment for their children exclusively through the use of gratuitous roadblocks."

This has been "How They Became Mini-Bosses" with Joss Card. Tune in next week as we unmask the terrible back story of local Twoson citizen, Everdread.

- Rabid Dog

Lean, Mean, Vidcon Machine:

Frank and his crew liked video games. They liked video games a LOT. It is with this in mind that we can view that group a few years back, all attending Onett's public school system and failing their classes miserably. Their acts of class disruption was what got the group together every day after school, and so Frank's "gang" was formed.

Back then, the Onett Arcade was a new attraction. As one of the premier places for youths to spend their time and quarters, Frank's gang found the building as a second home after a long day in detention. However, every day, other kids would come in and hog the games the gang loved so much. This was the motive to Frank's gang overtaking the Arcade, but not of the Frankystein.

Why on earth would Frank's gang need a robot? For protection? Not so -- the pogo sticks, hula hoops, and skateboards were enough on that front (not to mention the terrible fashion sense). These were all utilized to drive away all the other kids easily. The final piece that prevented Frank and his gang from truly owning the arcade was the cache of high scores saved to the machines inside. Now, the kids were pretty good at gaming...but the local video game whiz was none other than Ness.

Lacking the reflexes, skills, and psychic powers to rack up points in Galara or Duskey Kong, they put their heads together with a few of their more technological minds. In a few days, they build a robot capable of playing the games for them! This was Frankystein Mark I, a truly nouveau approach to arcade gaming. After setting new high scores in all of the Lett-Trio machines, it shorted out around stage 26 of Toader.

In order to finish the job, the gang broke into a nearby entertainment shack. In doing so, they found a decent cache of wood and other parts to make their new robot. They broke the back wall to pieces and salvaged what they could. They build addition upon addition to the robot to make it sturdier, more skillful, and unstoppable. Unfortunately, this put a large burden on the machine and made it huge. Thus, it was no longer portable. They had to resort to making treads for it to move around.

Around this time, the gang was getting notorious for their exploits, and the arcade was all but abandoned. This is also around when the fateful asteroid hit. Right when they finished their Frankystein Mark II and were contemplating ways to get it to fit through the door, Ness came by and trashed it completely. Perhaps the machine would have been better off sticking to the old arcade machines instead of taking on the NES?

- Artemis251

Frogger Repurposed:

I believe Frank made his robot (Frankystein Mark II) from broken arcade machines that have been thrown out of the arcade, it was a free material that was accessible to the growing street gang. he made it to steal money from the machines, but one of the members of the gang mentioned using it as a weapon (and of course, Frank agreed.) But his plans were foiled by Ness, and it all went down hill from there.

- megameleeplus

Teddy has the worst luck:

Frank is actually Teddy from Mother. After the events of the game, he became good friends with Loid and attended a special academy for aspiring inventors with him, where he learned how to make useful inventions like rockets and robots (He only got by with a lot of help from Loid). However, he was still as violent and unruly as ever; he brutally assaulted one of the professors at the school with a sword, almost killing him, when he gave the class an especially difficult pop quiz. After this, Teddy ran away, and, to hide from the police, he changed his name and dyed his hair. Without Loid, he could never be a successful inventor, so he decided to do something he was more familiar with; e gathered together a gang of "sharks" and became their leader. However, he was still filled with remorse after all that he did, and tried his best to continue his studies. He struggled for a while, but finally managed to create a robot assistant of his own, naming it Franky Mark II. However, one day a familiar-looking young boy came to town and defeated both him and his robot; a young boy with a red cap and psychic powers. He knew it wasn't his old friend Ninten, but in honor of his forgotten friends, he disbanded his gang, who had been causing trouble for the boy, and did his best from then on to help him in his journey, healing him completely whenever he asked. He later decided to become a real inventor, and maybe go back and try to find his old friends again.

- zoinkstation


I believe that Frank might be handy, like those gangsters who drive cars. I also think he got some Sharks to help with it. I think he made Frankystein Mark II to be his partner in crime.

I also have another theory. I believe he might be the person, chosen by the Prophets, to test out who is the chosen boy. The cops and the Sharks all know, yet, Ness doesn’t, in my opinion. The Prophets may have given the robot to Frank. The reason I believe this is why he knows so much about the First Sanctuary point, and the way that he just sits there waiting for a challenge.

- GrandOlClaus



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