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Theories topic for the week of February 15 - 22, 2012::

The Wooly Shambler is some creature of alien origin enlisted in Giygas's ranks... but is there more? It's a very strange creature, and the only one to seemingly wear clothes, for that matter. I asked you to tell me what it was, and you responded below.


Theory of the Week:

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This week's question, what's the Wooly Shambler? What's it's make-up, and does it have a specific origion? Plus, what's with his name to begin with, being all "Wooly", and what is a shambler anyway?

To start off the whole discovery, I had to travel to a distant, snow filled land that had that slight feel (and smell) of electricity, Winters! Besides the long searching within the white snow, and the ocassional chasing of the rams...me being the chased...I soon came across a felled...thing...which turned out to be a downed Wooly Shambler.

It was tempting to just kick it until it turned back on...either that or poke it with a stick, but I decided to do some investigating on it. I stood it upright, and the blanket it covered itself with fell off, revealing a square bodied robot below. I should've clued into that when I noticed the usually green eyes on top were actually now black. When I wiped some of the snow off of the torso of the robot, I saw a few letters. S.H.A.M.B.L.E.R.

My curiosity was really high after seeing that, and I was desperate to figure out what it meant. So I kicked and beat the robot for a good while, until my fists were numb from both the hard cold steel...and the cold. Taking a deep breath, I tried to think about a way to get the machine back online. It was then I heard some small...tappings.

"Hey, who the heck is doing all that stupid banging?! It's bad enough I have to freeze my butt off in this thing!" I jumped back, realizing the voice was coming from the robot itself.

"Uh...hello, who's there" I stuttered

"Huh? Oh finally someone's here to get me outta this thing! Wait a sec-were you doing that annoying banging on this thing?"

"Uhhhhhh...no?"

"Alright, I believe ya. Must be those stupid crows again. Hey look, can you get me outta here friend?"

"How would I do that, it seems you're really trapped in there."

"Relax kid, every single one of these things has an emergency release mechanism. Just push the head in, and the doors will open." Upon closer inspection, I realized there was a reasonable gap around the head of the robot. Using whatever feeling I had left in my hands, I pushed on the top, and it entered the robot, causing the doors of the mech to open and reveal what appeared to be a powered down operations device with shiny buttons, computer screens and even a control stick. And on a small, poofy chair sat a little, blue circle creature.

"Ah thanks, thought I was gonna freeze over." I was so tempted to laugh at his little squeaky voice until he jumped into my hand, sending a large jolt through my body, causing my hair to stand up. "Heheh, whoops. Sorry kid, guess us thundalls kinda do that to you organics huh?" Shaking off the zap, a few questions entered my mind I just had to ask.

"Thundall? What's a-"

"Hey kid, before you start, can we go somewhere warm? Heck I could even go for a hot tea right now." I nodded my head and rushed us to a nearby cafe, located convieniantly inside the Winter's Acadamy. We got two cups of chamomile, to which he strangely jumped in his glass.

"Alright, fire away. Whaddya wanna know?"

"Well, first off, I noticed the letters S.H.A.M.B.L.E.R on the robot, what does that mean?" "Snow Hating Annoyance Monster Being Legitly Evil Respectivly, essentially it means those robots get cold very quickly and we have every reason to get mad."

"Mad? But you're..."

"Kid, Thundalls are a species that get really annoyed of the cold. We originally lived on a planet called Spiff, and boy was that a nice warm place. But when those stupid Starmen came by, they just used a net on us and took us away, placing us in those stupid robots that was actually powered by us!"

"Then, what about the blanket? Shouldn't that of kept you warm?"

"On the contrary, that made it colder unless we kept moving. Ever action we made caused our bodies to move and react, bulding up the static electricty that helped keep us as warm as we can be on this planet. Never would've guess something like wool off those fluffy creatures..uh sheep was it? Actually made electricity." It made sense, why they're so attack filled, why they have those silly blanket, and even what they're made from.

"Anything else ya wanna know kid?"

"Not really just...what are you going to do now?"

"What, I can just hang with you? Not like I got much else to go." I was about to question the little lightning ball, but then it hit me. This guy wasn't so bad. And it would be nice to have a little buddy help me out through my theorizing journeys.

"Alright, sounds good, I just need one more question answered."

"Yeah? What?"

"What's your name?"

"Amp, good to meet ya!" We finished our cups of tea, and I not only got my answers to my questions, but now I have a new ally on my team.

And thus another question is left to burn in a ice melting flame. So this is Pheen-X (And Amp) saying, things can tend to be shocking.

- firej7


Silly boy... It's Shamblers all the way down!:

Wooly Shamblers: mythical, peaceful, and misunderstood.

We know Wooly means it's covered with wool, but what is a shambler?

Wait, Shambler is underlined in red in Microsoft Word? That can't be true...*checks dictionary.com* nope, not in the dictionary...

Well, let's look at the base word: shamble... Dictionary.com says, "a slaughterhouse," or, "place of mass destruction"...

But, this is Nintendo, king of censorship. They would _NEVER_ put something like that in their games...

Putting these ideas together, I figured out e-x-a-c-t-l-y what a shambler is.

Since a shambler is not a word, it must be something that doesn't exist. But, in fact, it is MULTIPLE things that do not exist. The "Wool" is hair from the abominable snowman, the "arm things" are a kraken's tentacles, and, while it's a stretch, its feet ARE a little big, aren't they? While this answers what a "Shambler" is, what is under all that snowman hair? This, my friends, is up to imagination. It could be whatever you want!

But, this is _MY_ article. SO, NO!! IT CAN'T BE, IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, SO BLEEEEAH.

Underneath Wooly Shambler's wool... is another Wooly Shambler. This makes complete sense. It is very cold in Winters, right? So Wooly Shamblers instinctively huddle together for warmth.

This answers two questions: "What is it?" and, "What's under the wool?"

This does leave one question unanswered, however: "Why can it shoot laserbeams?"

Have you seen its eyes? They are awfully discolored, aren't they?

The truth is, Wooly Shamblers have terrible eyesight. In an attempt to get it corrected, they resorted to laser eye surgery... But, the doctor misunderstood when they asked for it. Rather than firing a beam into the Shambler's eye in order to correct their vision, they were given "Laser Eye Surgery..." this explains why their beams narrowly miss the target so often: their eyesight was never corrected! This is also why they attack humans. The normally peaceful creatures can't see what draws near to them. In panic, they fire off their laser eyes in an effort to protect the Shamblers under the wool.

- BB Gang Zombie


Starman Junior Junior:

The Wooly Shamblers are prototypes of Starman Juniors. They are slightly smaller than regular Starmen, they have the same type of arms as Starmen, and under the wool you can see two feet that look a lot like that of a Starman’s. And I know those parts are not part of the wool because those parts in the sprite do not have a wool-like texture. And plus, look at how it’s head is shaped. Looks like a Starmen head doesn’t it? So I think they are prototypes of Starmen Junior that went haywire, which would explain why it has a diffrent style of “eyes” than Starmen, as they’re probably part of the plans for the original model. As for why it’s covered in wool,they mercilessly slaughtered all of the Gruff Goats and used their wool for protection, explaining why the Gruff Goats are no longer in Winters.

- ClassicGamingGuy


Simple enough:

I think they are the Starmen that go into more extreme temperature. Wool keeps you warm, right? They might feel cold like everything else, too.

- PSI Starstorm OMEGA


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