Why I'm a Better Staffer than Dragonair
Think of it as a seasonal break. TV shows take months off; I... well, I also took months off, but not enough to be italicized. Nobody blamed Arrested Development for not updating during the World Series!
And I wasn't even gone! If you had checked the forums you could have found me posting several times a day--heck, you probably argued with me at one time or another. (Hi, Sephy and ctoner!) And #earthbound--I wouldn't have the topic for this article without it. (Thanks, Dragonair and Radiation, for being such kind, caring souls!)
I suppose that doesn't help my case. I admit it, I haven't updated articles in a while. I apologize, I guess...
You're losing 'em, Agerate you fool! What are you doing!?
Oh, internal monologue, good seeing you here! I was just apologizing to the fine people of Starmen.Net.
That was your first mistake, Patsy. Apologies? Admission of guilt? Dear God, lady, hasn't all that political dickering taught you anything? Lie to these bumpkins! Or are you too busy watching all those effeminate Audrey Hepburn pictures to re--
Not in front of the people! And she's very charming. Gamine, even, and those big brown eyes and that charming smi--God, what's your problem? What should I be doing?
Well, you Bible-thumping waste of a journalism scholarship, do what comes naturally! Take the retainer out of your mouth and pass the buck!
Are you sure? I mean, it really was my fault.
Do you want me to tell them about the time you cried at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's?
Alright, alright, I'll do it!
Okay, so scratch that apology. What I meant to say was that you people should be happy I update at all! Think about it, there was a whole year between Articles updates before I got here.
And some of the other staffers are lazier than I am! Like that Dragonair cretin. Does he create the links himself? No. I write an article a week, and what does it get me? Not more popular than Dragonair, that's for ever-loving certain. Nobody ever joins #earthbound and says, "Hey, Dr. Agerate, you cool guy! You're so cool!" Is it wrong to need a little affection, every now and then? I may have the mean reds every once in a while, but... but... Am I not still a man? I moderate, I op, I drive a Nissan Maxima, what more can I do for you people? You should be as grateful as Chris Columbus after Home Alone, for goodness' sake.
I was going to write more, but I'm just disgusted. And to think, I almost apologized!
... so, IM, they won't hear about the, the thing now, right?
Of course. I'll never tell them about how you yearned secretly to be Paul Varjak, that cold November night.
Thanks, man, you're a real friend.
Think of it as a seasonal break. TV shows take months off; I... well, I also took months off, but not enough to be italicized. Nobody blamed Arrested Development for not updating during the World Series!
And I wasn't even gone! If you had checked the forums you could have found me posting several times a day--heck, you probably argued with me at one time or another. (Hi, Sephy and ctoner!) And #earthbound--I wouldn't have the topic for this article without it. (Thanks, Dragonair and Radiation, for being such kind, caring souls!)
I suppose that doesn't help my case. I admit it, I haven't updated articles in a while. I apologize, I guess...
You're losing 'em, Agerate you fool! What are you doing!?
Oh, internal monologue, good seeing you here! I was just apologizing to the fine people of Starmen.Net.
That was your first mistake, Patsy. Apologies? Admission of guilt? Dear God, lady, hasn't all that political dickering taught you anything? Lie to these bumpkins! Or are you too busy watching all those effeminate Audrey Hepburn pictures to re--
Not in front of the people! And she's very charming. Gamine, even, and those big brown eyes and that charming smi--God, what's your problem? What should I be doing?
Well, you Bible-thumping waste of a journalism scholarship, do what comes naturally! Take the retainer out of your mouth and pass the buck!
Are you sure? I mean, it really was my fault.
Do you want me to tell them about the time you cried at the end of Breakfast at Tiffany's?
Alright, alright, I'll do it!
Okay, so scratch that apology. What I meant to say was that you people should be happy I update at all! Think about it, there was a whole year between Articles updates before I got here.
And some of the other staffers are lazier than I am! Like that Dragonair cretin. Does he create the links himself? No. I write an article a week, and what does it get me? Not more popular than Dragonair, that's for ever-loving certain. Nobody ever joins #earthbound and says, "Hey, Dr. Agerate, you cool guy! You're so cool!" Is it wrong to need a little affection, every now and then? I may have the mean reds every once in a while, but... but... Am I not still a man? I moderate, I op, I drive a Nissan Maxima, what more can I do for you people? You should be as grateful as Chris Columbus after Home Alone, for goodness' sake.
I was going to write more, but I'm just disgusted. And to think, I almost apologized!
... so, IM, they won't hear about the, the thing now, right?
Of course. I'll never tell them about how you yearned secretly to be Paul Varjak, that cold November night.
Thanks, man, you're a real friend.
