Theory:Walking Mushrooms

The story of these mushrooms begins at a time where hippies flourished, disco was "in," and healthy eating was beginning to decline even further.

Every week, the Hippie Institution for Good Healthcare would meet to discuss the troubled economy in Eagleland, new presidential laws, troubling culture changes, and world peace. The HIGH program discussed their new president, "Generic NPC," and his awful mistreatment of his power. The HIGH members discussed at great length, all the time. So, you may ask, "Why haven't I heard of this organization?" Well, every week, HIGH members bring in home-cooked meals to share with the whole group. They had something new every day; one day it was fried chicken, one day it was octopus... But, one day, a HIGH member brought in some fresh mushrooms...

Mom always told me, "You are what you eat, BB." I didn't listen, and look at me now...

Oh wait... I'm telling a story about mushrooms. Still, the phrase applies, right? Walking mushrooms are the embodiment of a balanced diet, containing B vitamins like riboflavin, niacin, pantothenic acid, and of course, the most delicious and exotic B vitamin of all: a human soul. Ever wonder why I don't order mushrooms on pizza? Now you know...