Theory: Presents
Manly Fish looked his brother in the eye, and they raced to the window.
"What day is it!?" yelled Manly Fish. "Why, it's inoffensive-nonreligious-Nintendo-holiday-that-totally-isn't-Christmas Day!" yelled Manly Fish's Neighbor's Second Cousin. The two children scrambled downstairs, smiling brightly. Under the mucky swamp, a mountain of presents was waiting for them...! Manly Fish's Mother scolded the two boys for being so hasty to open their gifts, and sent them with two bag lunches on a journey they would never forget. You see, on inoffensive-nonreligious-Nintendo-holiday-that-totally-isn't-Christmas Day, Not-Santa Fish leaves gifts for all of the good little monsters in the center of the swamp, buried under leaves with each child's name written on them.
And so, their journey began.
It started the same as the holiday had been each year before it. The two boys walked through the trees, east of the pencil-shaped rock, and through the meadow. "What do you think we got this year?" Manly Fish asked. "I bet we got a train set! Or maybe Oprah left us a new car!" Excitedly theorizing what would be in that luxurious gift, the two boys reached a clearing. "Let's break for lunch here," said Manly Fish's Brother. They ate Pepperidge Farm Goldfish for lunch, and it was delicious and there was nothing wrong with that.
Continuing on the path, the boys saw other little beasts awaiting their free gifts. "We must be close," Manly Fish exclaimed. And they were--closer than they could even imagine. Suddenly, a bear jumped out. It roared, nearing closer and closer... and then waved to the boys. Just a Mighty Bear, only 7 years old, getting his gift too.
Finally, they reached their destination. A shimmering leaf with the boys' names on it. Lifting the leaf, the two took their gifts. However, as all monsters know, if you open the gift before you get home, a kid will come and hit you with a bat, so they begun walking home.
Suddenly, dark clouds brewed in the air, and in an overly cliché manner, lightning and thunder tore through the skies. The two boys gathered their gifts and scrambled for home, running as fast as they could... then the rain started. The fish began struggling to avoid drowning in the flood, but then remembered they were fish. Swimming home safely, their mother welcomed them. But Manly Fish's gift wasn't waterproof... "It's ruined..." Manly Fish held back sobs. "Ruined." The camera panned up dramatically, revealing the whole Earth. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Manly Fish screamed, dismayed about his gift.
And so, as a memorial of this grave day, random encounters carry gifts to offer to the Storm Not-God-Because-This-Is-A-1990's-Nintendo-Game.
Manly Fish looked his brother in the eye, and they raced to the window.
"What day is it!?" yelled Manly Fish. "Why, it's inoffensive-nonreligious-Nintendo-holiday-that-totally-isn't-Christmas Day!" yelled Manly Fish's Neighbor's Second Cousin. The two children scrambled downstairs, smiling brightly. Under the mucky swamp, a mountain of presents was waiting for them...! Manly Fish's Mother scolded the two boys for being so hasty to open their gifts, and sent them with two bag lunches on a journey they would never forget. You see, on inoffensive-nonreligious-Nintendo-holiday-that-totally-isn't-Christmas Day, Not-Santa Fish leaves gifts for all of the good little monsters in the center of the swamp, buried under leaves with each child's name written on them.
And so, their journey began.
It started the same as the holiday had been each year before it. The two boys walked through the trees, east of the pencil-shaped rock, and through the meadow. "What do you think we got this year?" Manly Fish asked. "I bet we got a train set! Or maybe Oprah left us a new car!" Excitedly theorizing what would be in that luxurious gift, the two boys reached a clearing. "Let's break for lunch here," said Manly Fish's Brother. They ate Pepperidge Farm Goldfish for lunch, and it was delicious and there was nothing wrong with that.
Continuing on the path, the boys saw other little beasts awaiting their free gifts. "We must be close," Manly Fish exclaimed. And they were--closer than they could even imagine. Suddenly, a bear jumped out. It roared, nearing closer and closer... and then waved to the boys. Just a Mighty Bear, only 7 years old, getting his gift too.
Finally, they reached their destination. A shimmering leaf with the boys' names on it. Lifting the leaf, the two took their gifts. However, as all monsters know, if you open the gift before you get home, a kid will come and hit you with a bat, so they begun walking home.
Suddenly, dark clouds brewed in the air, and in an overly cliché manner, lightning and thunder tore through the skies. The two boys gathered their gifts and scrambled for home, running as fast as they could... then the rain started. The fish began struggling to avoid drowning in the flood, but then remembered they were fish. Swimming home safely, their mother welcomed them. But Manly Fish's gift wasn't waterproof... "It's ruined..." Manly Fish held back sobs. "Ruined." The camera panned up dramatically, revealing the whole Earth. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Manly Fish screamed, dismayed about his gift.
And so, as a memorial of this grave day, random encounters carry gifts to offer to the Storm Not-God-Because-This-Is-A-1990's-Nintendo-Game.
