Negative Man was not always so upset, just the contrary. At one time, Negative Man was ever so happy with his peaceful life. He was the strongest, the cutest, and the most well respected creature in Argilla Cliffs. He was also the happiest. He had even been promoted to be a Needle Guardian.

One day, he noticed his most precious possession had vanished; it was his meteotite. He fell into a panic and began looking day and night. It was valuable and extremely hard to come by. He was absolutely sure a Mystery Metal Monkey took it. He went out to confront them, but they denied ever even knowing he had such an item.

To his dismay, after many long days with no progress, he gave up. He began to think he must be pretty weak if even such a weak opponent could easily steal from him. None of these creatures must respect him anymore. He must have been weak and pitiful.

Soon after, he retreated to a cave in hopes no one would ever find him. He had lost his confidence and only felt sorrow. He felt he wasn’t worthy to be the guardian of such an important role. He just wanted to cry.

Little did poor Negative Man know was his precious meteotite was in his back pocket the whole time.

Okay, here goes:

Negative man is Ness. Crazy, Right?

Well, if you fight Negative Man long enough, he says, "Life is but a moment, a meaningless grain of sand", which is a line from the lyrics of the Flying Man's theme. Flying Man is Ness' courage, so maybe Negative Man / Ness is lamenting about his lost courage.

If fought long enough, He will say something about being a worthless protoplasm. That was one of the enemies Ness fought. Ness could be remembering his quest.

Ness could have broken up with Paula or had a falling out with Jeff or Poo, or Giygas could have scarred him for life.

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X (and Amp) tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This week's question, Negative Man. He's a question in himself. Did he get turned down by a hot date? Did he truly kill a former explorer and facing the guilt? Was he never invited to any parties and was left to grovel in self pity? Did Amp steal his donut one day in the office?!

(Ugh, you gonna complain about that every day?) YES AMP! IT WAS CREAM FILLED! (blah blah blah, get on with it! ya big baby)

Ahem, right. Well, this man brought many thoughts within my head. I even considered interviewing him. But the fact he cries more then a witch in the dark, I decided to pass and let Amp do it.

(still waitin on that 5$ you promised for dealing with that)

And he was able to get some interesting information. And that man, had a story. A story, of woooonderrr. It all started about 20-30 years ago. This young man within the Tazmilly Village was known to have the best of luck. He'd find the shiniest of objects, just by looking down. He could walk under a ladder and reach the pie on the other end unscathed. He, was, P-Man (and that's not a dash, his actual name was Penegative Manfred, but everyone knew him as P-Man).

He'd go around and show his luck to everyone. Yet, he wasn't well liked. He used to play cards with some of the guys, winning near every hand. At first so many people thought he was cheating, that he had an ace up his sleeve. After the thought spread, he wasn't aloud within the card games.

He was lucky enough to get one of the biggest houses in the village. He'd always invite people over to brag about his luck and wealth and size of home. It grew obnoxious so fewer people started to come to the parties.

P-Man even had some of the greatest livestock. They made the sweetest milk and tastiest eggs. Yet he only shared this when he could get it away from himself long enough. It was just so sweet, he wanted it all for himself.

Now, with him growing alone, you're probably thinking "heh, so he just grew sad from being alone." actuaaaaaally, no. There was one thing, ONE thing, that made him break. Something made him near fall screaming in disbelief. And it all happened, within a dark night.

P-Man had awaken from one of his great dreams of being ruler of the village. He had to go and, take care of some toilet buisness so to speak. He hummed his favorite song "Lucky Day" while he took care of buisness as he reached for some toilet paper. His eyes grew wide as he discovered, HE WAS OUT! He trembled, he shivered, he ran around the house buck naked screaming "NO TP! NO TP!". (If you're curious what happened to his TP, some weird kid in green broke into his home and stole it to handle a hand in the toilet. Don't ask)

He shook on every door knob, desperate to get the toilet paper. He kept screaming "NO TP, NO TP!" Of course, either everyone was asleep, or they had no clue what he wanted. He needed toilet paper, desperatley. He ran off into the forest, still forgetting to dress himself on his search for TP. Sadly though, to no avail.

He found a cave to huddle himself in shivering as he looked to the ceiling screaming "NO TP!" Sooner or later, he grew desperate and used the nearest leaf he could find. Unfortuantly, it was the rare Gluyella Leaf. It is a leaf that is said to be 10 times worse then poison ivy, and is known to tint the skin yellow.

Whining and whimpering, he grabbed his rump, yelling to it "I'm Sorry!" He never knew how to respect others, he just wanted it to end. Out of toilet paper, burning rump, and yellow skin. The insanity left him grinding his head on the cave for some relief, the itch spreading. What it did though was made his head square.

He suffered this fate for years, growing more and more sad. All on a quest for toilet paper. His sorries are still said to echo through the night. His luck having fallen, unbeknownst to him. Him having completely changed. And his knickers hanging outside his doorstep. This, is the story of the former P-Man. Who everyone only remembered, as Negative Man.

And thus, another flame is left to burn in a interesting colored flame. So this is PheenX saying, watch your rump, and I WANT MY DONUT BACK

(uggggh, I'd rather put up with the Nega guy)

We all know the Negative Man. The depressed yellow block is a wimpy yet kind of hilarious character. Where did he come from that is the topic of the theory contest this week. Here is what I think: Negative Man says things like "life is but a meaningless grain of sand" which is a line from the flying man's theme. He also says he is nothing but a worthless protoplasm which is a enemy in Earthbound. Seeing that he knows some things about EB this means that he knew what was going on in When Gygas attacked earth. Maybe he was a soldier for Gygas but because he was so weak Gygas fired him.Then he just crawled into his cave and waited for someone to come and just swat them away with the 1 HP dealing attacks

This is SaturnRocks singing off