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n00b - by Leeman


If You Have Dubbed Someone a "n00b", Read This

Technology is a splendid thing; it makes our lives ultra convenient. Heck, technological advancements created the Internet, which in turn created a new society for people to engage with one another. One which split itself into several different communities.

Since online community consists of many different people from many different walks of life, communities tend to evolve from the interest of a large portion of the demographic.

In this case, it�s people whom like EarthBound.

Many societies & communities would be destroyed without rules and structure. (Unless you�re a Spartan, go brute force!) So it makes sense for an online community to do the same. It only makes sense for to enforce rules against vulgarity and lewd behavior. After all, EarthBound was rated K-A (Kids to Adults) by the ESRB. So it would be silly to have a site dedicated to a game that contains unsuitable behavior, and have the site contain derogatory content or link to the said unsuitable content.

Now many of the greatest societies, past or present, did and do not praise equality & democracy like you and I. Many early (and some recent) societies gave citizens their rights within a class system. Some were based on nobility, others on social worth. Here at, I�ve speculated that those whom become staffers had this happen due to these variables:

-Willingness to attend section, and time to do so

-Good knowledge of EB and the community, including its respective members

-Obedience, patience, interest in position

-Willingness to submit own material

-Sheer Luck!

The main message I�m trying to convey here is that you get what you put in, and must be able to aspire towards something to indeed make it. People don�t get things as easily as they can think them up, they should be deserving individuals.

Now, if you were attracted to this just because of the title, here is where we shall be "getting dirty." In many societies there will be those whom crave power, who desire it more than anything else. They believe they�d do the best possible job and that everyone else is a shmuck for even trying. They are often weak and show off by using defense mechanisms like sarcasm and like to belittle others of opposing views.

While they may not retain all of the qualities listed above, people like this are lurking on the forums and IRC. Often cynical, rarely productive, these citizens become attuned to the community, from its leading members, sister pages, enemies, and all the inside jokes. They will not look at their seniority as something that resulted from various degrees of conditioning, however, they will often treat it as some type of god given gift, handy for smiting the "ignorant."

For those of you who are scratching your heads, I�ll give you a sample interpretation, "net lang." and all.

(Newbie) Hey guys, I just saw this Flash Vid called "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US." I thought it was funny and thought you guys might wanna


(Newbie) ...

As you can see, these weird, fanboy-ish characters often like to use bad grammar, spelling, and an extreme amount of acronyms. They also enjoy adding numbers to add to the "l33t" effect. They tend to idly sit by until someone says something such as this "n00b" did, and it�s their moment to shine!

Now, what�s wrong with this type of behavior you may ask? Besides the fact that it�s a very obvious form of fascism, (not that subliminal and subtle forms of it are good, mind you) it also may convince the new person that this is standard behavior, and tah-dah, you just created another person who represents this weird, repressive behavior.

So how do we rectify this injustice? Well, if you act in this manner, stop, get back (or acquire) your feeling of apathy. Everyone is new at some point or another. If you see others acting in this manner, stick up for the "newb" in question. Tell the loser fanboy exactly what I�ve tried to tell you today, and maybe, just maybe, we�ll finally obliterate elitist Internet hacks forever!

Other Submissions by Leeman

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