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Confessions of a Dangerous, but Stable Mind - by MikeTheEBGuru

Confessions of a Dangerous, but Stable Mind

That Ness was quite a character. Never brash and always focused, our boy from Onett made for quite a hero. Put yourself in his shoes. Your snotnose neighbor won't refuse to leave your house unless you help find his pantywaist little brother. What would I do? Offer Chubs some ribs (favorite food), and urge that primadonna to trot that piggy behind on out of my face. Case in point, Ness got it done with one virtue, not three. It may not be considered a cardinal virtue, but I'd take his sanity over courage, wisdom, and friendship any day. It all started with Buzz Buzz.

You got a bee telling you to save the world. Like any sensible person, I'd pull a Lardna Minch on the foo, and smash the thing and that weird "Sound Stone" pebble he was lugging around with him. That Ness was great at restoring common sense back to the people. The bizzarre Onett Police Department? OWNED. After smacking some sense into the Sharks, it took another gang beating to restore the minds of Onett's finest. Sure, evil may have gripped the minds of the people during the Giygaslicous power trip, but I don't buy for one second that any evil power could ever entice you to paint the world blue. Mr. Carpainter should've taken note while Ness was taking a bat (or occasional slingshot) to he and his minions. Once again, common sense prevailed, and the crazies got whacked and humbled. All the professional help in the world doesn't equate to the pure, peacemaking justice of a good baseball bat.

I tip my hat to the kid. I know I couldn't handle the ability to talk to animals, unload a hurting on off-the-wall enemies such as a Titanic Ant, and I know that I wouldn't be able to come to grips with discovering an alien base. Oh, and those Mr. Saturn critters would have me on a little one-on-one with Dr. Phil. I could go on and on about the zany situations that Ness and company went through, but it'd be about as even keeled as traveling through my own Magicant; just another thing that would possibly have me jumping off that Pink Cloud of Dalaam. I see plenty of people disappointed that there is no official word of an EarthBound sequel yet, but I'd be just as disappointed that Nintendo didn't get the boys of Silicon Knights to consider putting the mentally stable Ness in Eternal Darkness. Now, that would've been a spectacle! Couldn't have hurt the sales either, huh? Then again, when your company's main aces have been a love-seeking plumber and a disgruntled, tie-wearing ape, it might've been overkill.

I don't think enough of us realize what a great quintessential hero Ness really is. Saving the world without one trip to the can is one thing, but to be willing to implant you brain in a robot to accomplish your objective with no pre-conceived notion of returning is simply amazing. Thank you, Ness. You've served as an inspiration to bat-wielding youngsters everywhere. You really showed us all that there is an audience for people willing to talk to rocks. You've even depicted how to retain sanity after being forced to explore the inner working of a "dungeon man". All of those oddball feats accomplished, and you still have time to cruise the mean streets on your bike? No, you still have time to cruise the mean streets on your bike WHILE WHISTLING! You know, it usually takes a nice warm cup of coffee or tea to get your wits together, but not for this guy; the wackiness just continues. A guy that loves his mamma when he gets homesick, and sticks it to zombies everywhere, you know you're in good hands when you see that new kid in town with his striped shirt, baseball bat, and mean, but shockingly cute, posse of friends.

Will we see our little slugger in action again? Who knows. After stepping up to the plate to take out more memorable, mentally deficient Nintendo chracters, it's hard to say if our boy will get past the Smash Bros. fighting circuit. However, if I get nothing else from the down-to-Earth Ness, it's that has resolve is leaps and bounds more impressive than of any video game character. Ever.

Other Submissions by MikeTheEBGuru

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
MikeTheEBGuru Confessions of a Dangerous, but Stable Mind
7/31/06 0.00
MikeTheEBGuru Earthbound: best rpg ever?
7/31/06 0.00
MikeTheEBGuru Everdred, PI: Part 1
A few years after the War Against Giygas, Everdred begins a new life as a private investigator. His first case leads him and his partner Shaft to Onett, where Everdred's old friend Ness reports crime is back on the rise.
3/26/05 0.00
MikeTheEBGuru Everdred, PI: Part 2
Everdred returns to Twoson, this time without a partner. And my how things have changed. Orange Kid is MIA, but Dred is on the case.
3/26/05 0.00
MikeTheEBGuru Everdred, PI: Part 3
In Everdred's wackiest case yet, the PI and his new partner, Mr. T, take a trip to Winters to hunt down one Mrs. Andonuts.
3/26/05 0.00


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