Go Back!

EarthBound? That game sucks! - by Sephy

EarthBound? That game sucks!

The scenario happens to many of the most hardcore EarthBound fans: You're talking with your video game friends, and the question arises. "Dude, what�s your favorite Role-Playing Game?" Timidly, you answer "EarthBound". Now, if you�re lucky, everyone who heard you will say "Never heard of it. Must be some old NES game." That's one of the best outcomes you can get, other than "Woah dude, I love that game, my name's [reidman/Tomato/Sephy] and I visit Starmen.Net". Now, let's say you didn�t get so lucky. A few people in your group of geeky friends have played EarthBound and they didn't like it, simply because they couldn�t grasp the graphics and they didn't laugh at the Minch family. "Dude, that's your favorite game? I don't wanna breathe the same air as you!" Now it's over, you would think, but there's still a way you can defend yourself effectively, and even turn it back on your friends.

First things first, never let them convince you that your favorite game is not your favorite game. "But dude, Chrono Trigger was so much better." You liked EarthBound the most because [fill-in-the-blank], and Chrono Trigger (or any other game) couldn�t hold a candle to that. Now that you're in the right mindset, you're ready to defend your claim. Tell your friends that it was an involving but still comical game; you can't find many of those at all! You can also say that EarthBound was alone by itself at the top of the coolness level, simply for being a solid, good RPG set in the present. Tell them how the hero was just like the teenage kid you were or are. You can admit that the graphics sucked, but either they "left a lot up to the imagination," "weren't as important as the awesuma story line," or "were necessary to complement the humor in the game". The music was awesome, and there was a handy, do-all shoulder button that let you play a lot of the game with only one hand.

Now, if they haven't started gnashing their teeth and begging for you to stop because they're sorry they challenged your opinion, convert them into EarthBound lovers, or at least get them to play the game. Describe everything from above again (or elaborate), and invite them to your house to play Smash Bros. Melee (to break them in to it), then EarthBound (for the full effect). Don't get too obscure and freaky about it all, or they�ll say "AHHH LET ME OUT OF HERE" and leave. Then, if they really like it, let them get to somewhere far within the game, wait until they get stuck somewhere, then refer them to Starmen.Net for the solution to the hard parts. Then they'll see that it's fun here, and they'll love EarthBound and live happily ever after.

I wish I had done more with EarthBound and other people back when I still owned the cart. My sister was really interested in playing it (which was weird because the only thing she knew about Nintendo was that I played it nonstop), and I feel bad that I didn�t really give her a good shot at playing it. I might have ended up with a Plo/Meeellla type situation. I sold the cart to my good friend who lived on the back end of the block. He was at my house one day and he said "What's that?" I showed him the game, the player's guide, and how cool everything was, and he was hooked. He borrowed the cart for a week, and then I sold it to him not long after.

Remember this if you can't get people to like EarthBound: not everyone is like you, and they might prefer flashy, overdone games that pit the dashing hero against the flaming dragon in a bajillion hit-point summon-fest. That's okay. Imagine how hard it is for the Bugs Bunny Super Bombad Racing II fan club to spread the love of their game! Petitions might be helpful and statistically sound, but word of mouth is the kind of thing that can make the Mother Series a reality in the world again. EarthBound was rated highly on the Top 100 Reader�s Poll in Nintendo Power several years ago; surely a lot of people enjoyed the game (and will still enjoy it). So next time you�re cornered by your Squaresoft-Buttkissing dorks when you declare your love for EarthBound, remember this: EarthBound rocks, and you can convince your friends that, too!

Other Submissions by Sephy

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
Sephy Dissent in a Time of Need
7/31/06 0.00
Sephy EarthBound Battle 5 (Piano)
Sheet music for Battle Theme (page one)
3/17/05 0.00
Sephy EarthBound Battle 5 (Piano)
Sheet music for Battle Theme (page two)
3/17/05 0.00
Sephy EarthBound: Now we're talkin'!
7/31/06 0.00
Sephy EarthBound? That game sucks!
7/31/06 0.00


Latest Updates:

FANFICTION >:. ...> It's Showtime!
FAN COMICS >:. ...> If a Man Yells Loud Enough...
FANART >:. ...> Super Beaver
FANART >:. ...> Beep Beep Lettuce


EarthBound Fanfest 2010
MOTHER 2 Novel Translation Project!
EarthBound Central -- Good News for the Modern Fan
Fangamer Banner
MOTHER 3 Fan Translation
Starmen.Net EarthBound Walkthrough
Starmen.Net Mother 3 Walkthrough
Donate to Starmen.Net!

Site Info:

Wanna know more about the staffers? The Site History? The Forum Badge Guide? All the info is here!


How do you use
Last Week's Poll
Which of the Super Smash Bros. Newcomers is your favourite?
Image of Last Week's Poll

Radio PSI:

Bringing the EarthBound community together through the magic of music.