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What is the Lost Underworld? Why is it filled with dinosaurs, and how was it formed? - by Rabid Dog

What is the Lost Underworld? Why is it filled with dinosaurs, and how was it formed?

Digging! It's a pleasurable hobby and pass time. The ancient peoples of Mesopotamia dug. The Americans dig. Even the French dig. There is no end to this marvelous pass time. All one needs is a shovel and one is ready to dig. I would encourage you to find a soft spot some day and try it. I say soft spot because rock is substantially more difficult to dig through than soft dirt.

One can find wonderful things hidden below the Earth's surface. Why, just the other day, I found a large metal plate with and ancient inscription that said:
“Michigan
4BX G21
Great Lake's Splendor”
It was a rare find indeed. Many treasures are awaiting their discovery by simple excavations in one's own territory.

But, possibly the most controversial discovery in modern culture, would have to be the discovery of the “Lost Underworld” which has fascinated the minds of the handful of people who have heard about it.

Discovered in 1912 by famed archeologist, Archimedes Angel, captain of the Archimedes Angel's Awesome Archeology Association (Or the “Quintuple 'A'” as it's been known to be called.” The Lost Underworld was, in essence, a large, subterranean continent populated by a small, green, indigenous people known as the “Archimedites” (Though, if asked, they would prefer the name, “Tenda”, whatever that means in their primitive tongue.) Also inhabiting this subterranean marvel are dinosaurs! Real life dinosaurs! It is quite a mystery as to why no one has found this area before. Especially when one considers its vast size and dimension. The story of this discovery was only recently discovered in one of Archimedes' journals, which we have. They represent almost 9 months of search and $20 (plus shipping) spent on a reputable, online auctioning site.

In these journals, we find that after ingesting a questionable pastry in a small resort town, Archimedes found himself on the southern skirts of Scaraba. Through a series of questionable events, he found himself in the swamps just south of the great Scarabian desert. It was there that he discovered the Archimedites. He described them as, “Timid fellows, whose only purpose is to make one feel unease during polite conversation.” He claimed to have dwelt with them for some time until one day, after he had gained their trust, they led him to what they deemed “The Lumine Halls”. The lichen in these walls would reflect the thought patterns of any individual who came near them in written form. Soon after reading what Archimedes really thought about the Archimedites, he was unexpectedly shoved down a hole.

There was where he discovered the Lost Underworld. He named it so for these reasons: “Underworld” because it was under the world. And “Lost” because he found it, and he reasoned that one could not find what had not been lost. His journal then goes on to quote at length his discoveries (which are many and would require a discussion all of their own) but the most remarkable one to note was the indigenous tribes' explanations as to how and why the dinosaurs were living under the earth.

The Archimedites had several explanations to reason why such large creatures would be living in the Lost Underworld. Some reasoned that it was a large-scale shelter for the large meteor heading their way. Others claimed that it was natural instinct for heavy things to look for the route closest to the center of the Earth. (Which has precedence, when one considers how eagerly fast an elephant or rhino falls to the bottom of a ravine, while a smaller, lighter animal, say a sparrow, flies farther away from the earth's center.)
But, the most reliable theory came from Archimedes himself who said that fossils of dinosaurs we find, are actually the first stages of the creature's life-span. The fossils slowly migrate downward, towards the earth's core. Along the way they grow flesh and sinew and by the time they drop out of the ceiling of the Lost Underworld, they are fully formed dinosaurs.

This theory took the world by storm. All three of Archimedes' followers published it as far and wide as possible and it made quite a stir in the booming metropolis of Podunk, from which he originated.

But, one asks, why has no one ever read of this in a history class? Several years later, after escaping from the Lost Underworld (a story which has never been fully published) Archimedes tried leading another expedition to the Lost Underworld. As they arrived in the Deep Darkness colony of the Archimedites, they were shocked to discover that the alleged passage way that Archimedes had told was now a giant rock that no one could move. Quickly unnerved by the awkward silence of the Archimedite village, the expedition quickly disbanded, along with any reputation Archimedes still had.

Archimedes never fully recovered his reputation and spent the rest of his years working as a surprisingly bitter soda jerk. No one has ever found the Lost Underworld ever again. Some claim that it was all a myth, others say that it was all for publicity on the part of Archimedes. Ever now and again new people arise with claims that they've found it, but these claims are never backed by any substantial evidence. The most convincing story came from a youth living in Onett, but since youth are unsavory characters and have a penchant for mischief (listening to rock and roll, jaywalking, spitting, etc) one simply cannot take his tale at face value.

In conclusion, the world may never really know what really happened or if there really is a “Lost Underworld”. But we can be certain that it would be really really really cool if there was.


Other Submissions by Rabid Dog

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
Rabid Dog Backpack Switcheroo
Ness gets a big surprise when he sees Kazooie pop out of his backpack... Not as big as the one Banjo gets when he expects Kazooie to slow his descent!
10/20/05 0.00
Rabid Dog Blue, Blue Chant or How a Hue Can Subdue
On a boring Thursday afternoon, trading one monotonous thing for another can bring about self-revelation.
9/14/06 0.00
Rabid Dog Buzz Buzz
A bee I am... not!
10/10/05 8.00
Rabid Dog Carbon Dog
Only 57% ripped off from Klobber! (The other 43% is the talent which I lack...)
3/24/06 0.00
Rabid Dog Daemon Ex Machina
I made this for the (apparently non existant) Halloween Funfest 2011.

Pen and Ink. This would be my take on the final area of the game.
10/17/11 0.00

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