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Coming to a Store Before You - by firej7

Coming to a Store Before You

From the ashened questions we let burn out, Pheen-X's distant cousin tries to bring these questions back to life, with an inferno of answers. This weeks question, did the Scarabians face Giygas all those years ago? Well...yes and no. You see, I've obtained the ability to read heiroglyphics from my great-great-great-great grandfather Copy Write(yes, it was a strange name). And on my latest vacation, I decided to read these heiroglyphics myself, with some astonishing results.
You see, the Giygas that was mentioned in the glypics...well, I noticed a notch in the rock that made the glyphic for U look like an I and there was a space that wasn't noticed in the stone. So it wasn't "Giygas" it was actually "Guy gas". And it appears they did defeat it...for the mere price of $9.95! These heiroglyphs...were an advertisement that went something like this.
Fellow Scarabians! Have you recently planned a large feast for the royal family, but that fear of passing gas got you scared for losing your head? Well worry no more! With the Phar-B-No! Just take 5 capsules and within only 7 days, you'll pass gas no more. With many magical properties that are far too complicated to explain, you'll never fret over that large meal again! Take it with your lunchbox, your quick food dinner, or even to your casket. For with Phar-B-No, You can defeat any guys gas(that's the line). *warning, results may vary. You have a slight chance of a spontaneous explosion. Do not take if you're human. If you are human HAHA you didn't read the small print. Hopefully you aren't married, or you may actually be done a favor.*
Wow...luckily that didn't catch on...hopefully. Then again, with other "medicines" nowadays, this'd just fit in now wouldn't it? Maybe this is why we weren't told the whole wording on the stone, they might have known what it said...and, well I guess no one would want to know about that medicine(especially when they showed the picture of what the capsule looked like *shiver* no thanks).
Well, I was hoping I didn't have to rememer that heiroglyph, but...I did. And so, another question is left to spontaneously combust. And thus, this is Pheen X Write saying, just walk it off.


Other Submissions by firej7

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
firej7 Chillin with the Chiller
We'll be comin round the moutain when we come! My butt will freeze onto this fridge when we come! I think I'm sitting on the chiller, man this wind chill is a killer, but we're riding on a fridger when we come!
1/31/12 0.00
firej7 Coming to a Store Before You
The Scarabians vs. Giygas? You're kidding ri-OHH, I get the confusion.
1/22/12 0.00
firej7 DCMC Formation Theory
This theory took a lot of thought...and a help from an old friend of mine.
11/2/11 0.00
firej7 Deep in the Wool
There are many enemies in the world of Earthbound, each having an interesting story towards them. Since things are finally starting to chill down, Pheen-X is goin to take on the Wooly Shambler.
2/20/12 0.00
firej7 Eternanoodles, the secret of Lifenoodles.
Lifenoodles, recalled for being so powerful! But...why?
2/5/12 0.00

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