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Weapons in EarthBound - by Panama Jack

Weapons in EarthBound

First of all, I would like to thank the staff for posting my articles and for the compliments I was given the other day. You made this plain old Jack feel a little warm and squishy inside.

Today's topic, weapons in Earthbound. In my opinion, it would be a lot easier for Ness and Paula to make it through the game if they had some half-decent weapons. Why only Ness and Paula? Well first of all, Ness uses a popular piece of sporting equipment and Paula uses a surface on which you are supposed to fry eggs on. Not exactly your most deadly weapons. Secondly, Poo and Jeff are the only ones with good weapons. Some popular choices are the Gaia beam, the Sword of Kings, and my personal favourite, the Death beam(heh heh heh). This gives them both very effective attacks.

Now continuing with Ness and Paula, both their weapons could be improved. For Ness, a good quality ax would be many times more effective the a chunk of wood commonly used to hit baseballs. Not only would it be useful on enemies, but I think those pencil statues could be chopped down to size quite easily. For Paula, a kitchen knife or maybe a dagger of some sort would be good. Although a knife would have a closer range then a frying pan, there is no doubt in my find that it would do much more damage.

On to damage-dealing items. Bottle rockets and bombs are fine and dandy as your basic explosives but I know many more effective ways to cause explosions. Give Jeff a can of WD-40 and a lighter and I am pretty sure he could turn it into a flame-thrower. Also, if there is a stun gun, why not pepper spray? Just put some cayenne and pepper into a spray bottle and mix it with some water. Presto! You've got some good stuff that will immobilize almost any foe. Heck, it could be a condiment too! One spritz and you're south of the border.

One last thing about weapons in Earthbound. Why are there no guns? Sure, Jeff can make beams and tasers but what about the heavy artillery like shotguns and pistols. The police force doesn't have any, Giygas' men don't have any, so basically if you got a hold of one you would be invincible. Unfortunately, they would probably never be able to put heavy artillery in a kids game(it would warp little children's minds)so basically its just wishful thinking on my part. Oh well, if I want to pump something full of lead I'll just play James Bond.

Other Submissions by Panama Jack

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Panama Jack Earthbound Enemies
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Panama Jack Earthbound's Reality Problems
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Panama Jack RPG Battle Systems: Final Fantasy vs. Earthbound
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Panama Jack Weapons in EarthBound
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Panama Jack What Makes Earthbound Good
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